Echoes of one's own oddity
play on and on, without pause
or respite.  Who among us does not
hurt most  at our own painful peculiarities?

Why can't a leopard change its spots?
Is that the beauty of the animal kingdom?
Yes, we, too are part of that kingdom,
only we are driven by more than simple
survival in the ecosystem.

We are souls within the system.
We own minds that do not always bow
to Nature's will -- or the will of others,
or even our own.  We are painfully unique.

The leopard may lay dying, in horrible pain.
The leopard will die with his spots.

(....and we may never know his pain
and he cannot know ours.)

We think with our minds and hearts and spirits.
and there are some of us who break.

There is no pain that resembles that of
broken minds, human spirits grasping at
survival, trying to find some way to deal
with the realities of everyday human life.

We men, we women who seek, fear, love,
deny, abuse and care...
We wander within ourselves.
We wander without...
 and elicit smiles, love,
disappointment and even the deepest fears
of others.

We seek solace in another's arms,
another's strength and we hold fast and sigh.
We use and misuse ourselves and others,
burn with passion, fly on wings of joy.

And, tiny specks that we are, we make our way.

We do it with courage or need,
using whatever defense we have,
bold or groping, whatever works...
even inane, habitual ritual.

We need each other. We need the echoes
of others, the reassuring echoes of
kindness, acceptance...love.

but again, there are some of us who
break, who hear only the echoes of
our pained hearts/minds/spirits...
unable to change our spots.

Desperation is futile, change is not.
Stagnation breeds fear and echoes of
separation. Risk brings pain, but it
carries reward.

Can you see the leopard and his spots
unchanged as he lays dying? Can you
see the unchanged spots of those who
lay beside him, afraid to reach out?
Will you listen to the echoes of their
pain?

I want to see the hearts of the broken
and soothe their spotted minds.
I want to blanket them with kindness
and mute the echoes of the sour music
playing within their fear.

I want, myself as well, to listen to the
kindness of those who offer it.
I want to follow them as they offer it
to others and marvel at the smallest smile
of one who feels their welcoming touch --
if even for a fleeting moment.

I want to see in their eyes that moment
of silenced
fearsome echoes.

I want to join them in their courage to
change and their willingness to share.
I want to know these others.
I want to know that they exist.


I want to feel the colors of peace.
I want to change the spots that dim
my eyes and screech the sour song
that echoes without pause inside
  this broken child I am, within....

I want to dance away  the echoes
of my own oddity...
I want to carress and revel in it,
So  that I may know the silence and the
Wonder of change.


(for you see, i have been one of the
broken. and now you know the secret
i've been holding...)


Come, then and look. Come listen.
I am willing now to dare to reveal
the scars within these echoes of my oddity.

Come closer and see my slowly changing colors.

And if you dare to take my hand, to truly see,
I will thank you and ask you to join me.

and then I will ask to join you in
seeking out the broken others.
their echoes are now what we will
dare to hear together.