A girl leaves her slob of a boyfriend

What do you want to leave me for after all we’ve done together?
The times we’ve been down, got up off the floor, no matter what the weather.
Maybe sometimes, I’ve acted a jerk, embarrassed you and your friend.
And I swear it’s true , I’m unable to work. My back won’t allow me to bend.

How will I cope on my own when you’ve gone? I’ve never learned how to boil eggs.
You surely won’t leave me here all alone, with my aching back and bad legs.
Is it because I never foreplay? Am I no more a very good catch?
I’ll spend more time over sex if you’ll stay and I’ll even lie in the wet patch.

I’ll come home after closing, straight from the pub and I promise I won’t drink a lot.
And if there’s money left over you can buy me some grub. I’ll try not to spend all you’ve got.
To you I may seem like a big lazy slob, who sits around boozing all day.
Who searches your purse for your money to rob. But I need it my gambling to pay.

So give me a break, I’m not all bad you know. You’re my darling, my lover, my honey.
I’ll even go out in the rain and the snow for your birthday, just lend me the money.
What do you mean that’s the very last straw? You know I am still number one.
You’ll regret it you know, if you walk out that door. So be careful my girl…..Damn! She’s gone.