Just one more sleepless night, this is starting to get old. Unravelling my nightmares, analyzing what I'm told. Ulcers split their seams again from every burning ember. I'm losing time and my mind sleeping in what's remembered.
Time weakens the sense of self; people want conformity. Your life is invisible; pleasing popularity. Black and white, no inbetween, no leaves fall in November. Autumns dry, just black and white. Sleep in what you remember.
Like the feel of this one. I found myself breathing a slight pause on line seven, as if there were a comma there, and so I might suggest one after "time." J.
Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*® (Reader)
Reviewed on October 23, 2006
Dear Brittany,
Those embers could be beautiful dreams remembered that spark the flames of a wondrous present, leading to a glorious future.
Love & Light always and in all ways,
Joseph*
Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic (Reader)
Reviewed on October 21, 2006
I'm losing time and my mind
sleeping in what's remembered.
Intense write from a brilliant mind and a passionate heart. Each line is somthing that should be savored and contemplated carefully so nothing is missed. Well done Brittany.
First Edition Translation of Teselas by Carmen Crespo X111 César Simón Poetry Prixe 2016 Translated from Spanish by Robin Ouzman Hislop and Amparo Arrospíde
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Those embers could be beautiful dreams remembered that spark the flames of a wondrous present, leading to a glorious future.
Love & Light always and in all ways,
Joseph*
sleeping in what's remembered.
Profound lines..wow!
Vesna.)
Chanti
Fee
Regis