Darkness Has a Face
by J. Allen Wilson — Read all 1,629 poems by J. Allen Wilson
After close to 40+ years of silence I now know why I am who I am. It took that long to finally get help in understanding the me I have become. Though I am always being asked why I post gloom and doom, sadness and heartbreak, sometimes anger and desperation. That is what I have fought and failed at until I finally told my story to a VA Counselor and thus I have been diagnosed with Military Service connected PTSD.
The feelings I have had for all these years, ruined a once happy and carefree life. A life that could have done so much more. A life that once was so happy and somehow seemed to die before my eyes. Now knowing I’m not just a weird little man, but I now know that with God’s help, I may be able to enjoy the life I once lived.
THIS IS MY CONFESSION:
Wednesday, March 20, 2019
Darkness Has a Face
I have seen his face as he has mine.
He lurks in the shadows of my mind.
He has a voice, which speaks to me at night.
Battle thus rage on demons swift flight.
I seek only refuge, I search in vain for a simple peace.
He whispers in dark dreams; soon, oh soon all shall cease.
I cry, I resist, and call out in the blackness of the eternal night.
I see my past, and the coming day; I endeavor to make it right.
Cold now are his hands, fingers like ice.
Encasing my mind, life lived at a painful price.
No escape, nowhere to run, at every turn I see his face.
Corridors without end, swift, but silent is his pace.
Walls casting shadows and dark voices creeping in.
No escape, all hope is lost, I see his face and his name is sin.
Alive, but dead; destined to a torment that has no end.
A life without light, a darkness coming, coldness in the wind.
Roads of glass and stone pave the winding narrow way.
Voices from the forest scream in protest at the coming day.
I watch in silent horror as birds fall dead from the blood sky.
Ahead shadows softly creep, I see the face of darkness and cry.
With no hope for tomorrow and yesterday nothing but a dream.
I kiss my past goodbye; I forget the future and in the silence of nothing scream.
With darkness my destiny, I find comfort in that I have no name.
My road to happiness littered from the trash of yesterday’s shame.
Weep not for me for I have never been.
I came; I went and sadly traveled the road of sin.
Yes, darkness has a face and if you search yourself, you will find that you are he and he is me.
J. Allen Wilson ©
3/20/2019
Ron
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