You don’t really want to know what’s at the back of my fridge
My roommates don't clear up; in fact they never do a smidge

I’ve noticed that tomatoes and mushrooms go off really quickly

While items way past sell-by-dates make one feel really sickly.

What's in that sealed container looks like flippin’ ‘eck, Cor-Blimey

It's gone-off state is minging; it’s both slippery and it’s slimy

There’s a jar with a substance in, of what, I’m sure I’m not familiar

There’s something else inedible growing whiskers or something similar

The radishes, most surprisingly, from summer are still firm-ish
But the cucumber’s watery grossness, makes it look distinctly worm-ish

Something else grows in a tin, like a culture in a lab

And the cheese is now real blue cheese with a thickened mouldy scab

The milk’s been there so long I think we've got homemade penicillin

The avocado, more-than over-ripe, bulges pus-like out its skin

There’s the open tin of beans in there, that has an evil smell that hums

And a soggy mess, if I recall, was once a bag of juicy plums

Half-empty bottles of pop, proverbially, now completely pancake flat

And whatever spilled across the shelf, I wonder, what the hell was that?

Leftover stuff, for which I'm sure, were for some awesome plans

Is now the stuff you wouldn’t care to touch with your bare hands

Who leaves an open pack of bacon in their fridge for weeks and weeks?

Or that weird substance in a carton which when opened simply reeks?

There’s more besides, to be described as really quite unsightly

The operative word here is ‘putrid’ and not to be taken lightly

So this is what occurs when in the pursuit of worldly knowledge

When you pack up sticks, leave home and your Mum, and off you go to college.