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Graham Donnachaidh

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Member Since: Dec, 2003

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hurrying
by Graham Donnachaidh → (All Poetry by Graham Donnachaidh)
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first luve

hurrying...

.......


I remember the first tyme
i saw her
flying down her hurrying road to school-
she was blond curls dancing
jigs in the wynd
academic blazer blazing blue
and me the fool-
who fell. ..

bulging schoolbag stuffed
full of academic stuff
she knocked me right -
off my swagger
i had no idea what was
happening to me
my luve just might-
be smiled at..

i wanted so much to carry
for her...her academic schoolbag
upon my broad shoulder-
and to see that smile
which caused such luve
within me..
made me somewhat bolder-
a kiss i’d have from her..

sweet blossom touch of tender
moistness upon my lips
hot breath from angel kiss-
soft wet tongue entwining
with my own
my tears remember such
enchanted bliss-
‘tis my sorrow..

that i never saw again
her hurrying....

graham..april..2004


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 Reviews of "hurrying"
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
Reviewed on April 13, 2004
Graham, it does not matter what April thinks of your work. First transcend yourself. Then everyone else will follow.

Reviewed by Graham Donnachaidh
Reviewed on April 13, 2004
April ......
my friend in cyberspace......paganistic wannabe....I'm all the things you obviously despise....but i've lived more years than you...by your "pic"....truth is...you knocked it on the head...i am somewhat illeterate...but i'm on the learning ladder....
thankyou..
Graham

Reviewed by A PAX
Reviewed on April 13, 2004
I find this sweet.....a beautiful word picture......and i don't know what April's problem is.........

go figure........pax A

Reviewed by A. Sperry
Reviewed on April 13, 2004
Typing straight out of an aol chatroom. How adolescent. I'm sure you're trying to be transcendent but the effect is... how should I say... moronic. E.E. Cummings was transcendent. Unfortunately, you just sound illiterate.

Lovingly,
April Pittman


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