Egg's Essentialism (poem) by Frank Koerner on AuthorsDen

Egg's Essentialism
by Frank Koerner → (All Poetry by Frank Koerner)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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************************************** Some time ago, a salmonella egg scare and recall affected 500 million eggs. My particular dozen were numbers 237,634,229,631 through 237,634,229,643. I got my money back. Then, I realized how much the egg means to our civilization. Here are some scrambled thoughts on an eggs-essentialist philosophy.....(not to be confused with an existentialist philosophy). This is merely some food for thought. **************************************
For decades now our diet has been subtlely subverted, Nature's ways have been by the cereal folks converted. Breakfast foods in boxes are not brain food, merely fillers, It's possible their constant ingestion produces serial killers. The New World owes its discovery to a very creative thought. Columbus balanced an egg on a table before Queen Isabella bought His notion of a round world...(her ridicule of him was cruel). "You're not egg-xactly brilliant. Should I hock a single jewel?" Others tried to balance the egg and, of course, away it rolled. Chris broke an end, stood it up, then off he sailed we're told. The point here being a problem for a solution does often beg, And that's why Little Rock, Arkansas owes its existence to the egg. Colonial history's replete with tales about fighting British regs, How we cooked up many victories by separating out some eggs. In Boston our revolutionaries before one of their fabled fights, Won with this clarion call, "Don't shoot 'till you see the whites!" What's the best breakfast food? Chicken industry doesn't renege, "It's a fallout from our main line, the oblate spheroid egg! It's clearly food for thought, hens' heads not filled with rocks, Else how would they always know to lay exactly 12 per box?" So all you eggheads out there, eat eggs and don't be chicken. At this year's Nobel Prize award, the plot might quickly thicken And make you the winner. Your career then won't be through, But if you continue the egg to renege, the yolk may be on you! Copyright © 2013 by Frank Koerner

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on August 15, 2013

Frank, your satiric mind is incredible! I don't understand why you don't have hundreds of comments to your outstanding humor. I think we all know that the egg is probably, a most perfect whole food. Back in the day when we gathered them from any bird's nest, nobody ever worried about cholesterol, but we survived because they laid many. Now we eat cardboard fiber that's pumped full of chemicals and reconstituted vitamins in unhealthy cow's milk, as well as a boatload of sugar because we are too lazy to boil an egg or we remember Arthur Godfrey's warning about cholesterol because we are too lazy to eat our vegetables and exercise it away. Where's the bacon?

On the other hand, if we didn't eat all those zillions of eggs and they all hatched, we could feed the world fried chicken and have enough left over for buffalo wings on Super Bowl night� Yippee!

Ron