This is a true story--I swear! I owed some internet provider for my last month of service. The bill was over two years old, and the reason I never paid it is because they never billed me. You can figure out the rest...

Let’s talk, he says
You owe us money.
Don’t hang up now—
Late pay is not funny.

But I can free you
From this here old debt!
Just finance this puppy
You won’t need to fret…

If you lack the funds
The solution for that--
Is to add all your bills
In this here loan hat.

Much stunned, I asked
How much do I owe?
Puzzled, he said,
I don’t really know--

I’ll calculate the interest
The finance charge too
Those late fees add up
There, that ought to do--

Twenty dollars is your obligation!

Silence.

When it’s financed though,
It comes to a thousand.
Wow, what a difference--
Do you think we’re gouging?

Sigh.

If you’re finished, I said
Then I’ll pay what I owe
In addition, I feel
A strong need to throw

This advice your way…

To go by the script
Is stupid indeed
Just use your head
And I’m sure you'll see

The difference between
One thousand and twenty
Then, maybe you’ll learn
That your answer, Sonny

Is a new job for you
Like down at Wal-Mart.
I hear they train you
Make you real smart.