Boris, 1981 - 2011

I'm trying to remember where I'm s'posed to take a shit,
Is it on the floor or in the litter tray?
Perhaps I'll just jump up upon this chair to think a bit,
But, no, it's a bit too high today.

Maybe I'll just stretch out on the floor and just relax
On the patch that gets the bright, warm morning sun.
Dam! I wish that I could reach around and preen my back,
Especially the bits around me bum.

I think I should meow a lot, that'll do the trick!
'Cos I forgot that other thing I was gonna do,
Oh bloody hell! Did I do that? Sorry, must have slipped,
I gotta try and hold on to my poo!

I need to eat some grass so I can spew beneath your beds,
But first I need to piss upon the floor,
Can ya get the clippers out and get rid of all me dreds?
Than maybe I'll have a go at the doggy door.

My driving days are over, of that I'm fairly sure,
I no longer bark at birds or play with string,
There's little strength left in my itty bitty paw,
My eyes are dim and I can't hear a thing.

My time is fast aproaching as these stiff old bones atest,
But that's OK, I've been around a while;
You've given me a life that no other cat can best,
So I know I'll be leaving with a smile.

I think it's time to find the travel box to put me in,
The one I've had for almost 20 years;
Just one more pat and maybe one more scratch beneath me chin;
Ah! Blessed peace, eternal rest, your loving tears.