Condemning they are … make them shut up!

Hair pulling will soon ensue if they don’t

zip their lips and leave me be.

Scratching again … red welts form and ooze

this icky yellow stuff.  It hurts … make it stop.

I want to scream at the world and let it feel the

rage that builds up within me!  Yet, quietly I

lay within the darkness of my own psyche.

Let me hide away inside my happy place,

but even then they find me.  They tear down

my walls that I’ve spent so much time building.

Just go away!  Leave me be!

My little happy pills, a rainbow of colours ..

… and flavours to boot.  BLECH!

Now, I tell you, the prettiest of them all

is a very deep bluish hue.  But I dread

taking it.  What’s wrong with being a little

psychotic every now and then …

Makes for good writing!  If only I could

flush all these pills, especially the one titled

Geodon.

I wonder what other ailments I shall be diagnosed

with at my next appointment.  Yet, I keep saying

the voices won’t shut up.  Their condemning nature

is incessant.  The names they call me!

There is no one to hold me, but myself.

So, withdrawn I become … I hate the world.

But most of all, I hate myself.  I just want

them to stop!!! 

I don’t know where I end and the world begins.

Maybe the voices are real, we’ve held conversations

that last for hours on end.  Perhaps this isn’t a mental

condition, maybe it is just telepathy and the souls

of others just won’t relent their rampant engagements

of verbal assault.

Just let me be, please?

Is there anyone out there who could

hold me, even if just for a moment …

I’m tired emotionally, of walking this

path alone, condemned by loved ones

and the voices.

I want silence! 

Yet, there are times where they are not

here.  I’m stable and happy … but then

something triggers all this Hell.  Stress,

don’t stress me out.  Don’t make me angry,

you wouldn’t like it when I’m angry.  I

am just some form of Hulk, just not green?

No, I’m that pretty little blue like my Geodon

pills.  But I’m not a happy camper, no I’m not!

I just want to be loved and not condemned.

So please!  Make them stop!