The four legs, four hearts, the fan and the waltz... such a brilliant stanza with a soul and an atmosphere!
And "remembering a lost summer
of the love generation
and nightmares of the jungle"
those three lines that say so much about the past
and state of mind!
Excellent writing, a true poetic talent
that doesn't need a prefabricated form
to exist.
"heartbrakes" in association with his wheels ... "table with four legs" in contrast to his wheels...everything fits together so well. A moving, sad reflection on the fate of so many heroes.
i was recommended to read this particular write of yours, and i understand why. ..such is the refraction of colours and light into a heart so broken, so tender. .. a quiet soft muted humble piece of introspection, yet viewed from myriad 'withouts'. ..hologram of self, of what [is] was and what should [never] be [some zeppelin...oops]
such an intimate portrait of much more than a lonely man, but a lonely world; isolative and contemplative.
what a voice you possess.
ness
This one has shot an arrow straight through my heart for it has brought back vivid memories of that steaming jungle from long ago. I was never spat upon but was made to feel that my tour of duty was something I should have felt guilty about...as though I had done something terribly wrong. And, truth be known, no one ever talked with me about it. When I visited "The Wall" in Washington, the closer I got, the harder my heart pounded. Once there, tears streamed down my face, and I nearly exploded with emotion. Thank you so much for this piece and for the peace it gives me, for I felt near its ending, when you wrote, "the door is held open as he pushes forward," you were saying this soldier, in one defining moment, received his due respect. In a sense, I want you to tell me if my interpretation is correct. On the other hand, if I have misinterpreted, be kind and leave me to my own understanding. Again, thank you, my dear friend. Your words stir such emotions from within.
The arrow begins its flight within each of us. It does not begin flight from an external source. To subscribe to the old Cupidion theory is to ultimately invite disapppointment in succession. Interesting, relative comparisons you have related here. Jon Michael Willey
Holy cow, John, this is one of the best poems I have read in years. Not that AD doesn't have a lot of fabulous writer's, but this is a cut above. ~ Sara
This is fine poetry, John. Your words reach deeply in my soul and echo there and each echo evokes tears of sadness. Very compelling. Love and peace to you,
Regis
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on February 14, 2008
An amazing writer...gifted beyond the norm...blessings, love holly
Reviewed by Sanja Dayslink (Reader)
Reviewed on February 13, 2008
Excellent write, very emotional -- sometimes cupid doesn't strike for all the right reasons...enjoyed this one.
An emotional work of the heart John, we can only feel through words and thoughts the feelings of which you express the heartbreak with which so many are caged within the sadness and dissappointments that life has placed upon them....
Yes, Andy has pinpointed the way a number of us feel so well. You DO treat us with the intelligence to "join the dots" and that is the difference between average poetry (which insists on "telling") and GREAT poetry (which leaves the reader with work to do... and coming back for more!) I am struck by other thoughts than war vets myself. I like the understatedness of the depth of emotion, the control... THAT in itself speaks of a reservoir of feeling that is or has been internalised. Great voicing and tone. Just great work! TY Kate xx
You know, I totally agree with Andy on this, too. I like how you let us fill in the details-- connect with it. This poem reminds me of a poem by jeanne watson-- "blue door and bar flies (flipside of the curtain call)"--both are about the rough side of life in a cafe/bar. You might enjoy reading it. Hers is more like a ballad.
This one is good--very good. --Charlie
heartfelt and yet so self/sad as he chooses not to move forward in his fantastic life, he is still clinging to the past...
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on February 9, 2008
Oh my, this is bloody good. It's the kind one sees published.
You treat the reader with intelligece, by just saying enough and our minds fill in the rest of the picture.
One can hear the poets voice with the crisp imagery...
Such a sad write John, cupid must have been looking elsewhere. For those who returned deserved to have open arms. Thank you for sharing.
Newfie Hugs, Rose
Perhaps that man always cryed neon jukebox tears, and, with no heart, Cupid had nothing to aim his arrows at.
Conterculture tells of love reflexion on wet asphalt.
Well done.
Wow, this is so heartbreakingly true for so many lost souls that walk the earth without rhyme or reason. Your words create such a vivid imagery that makes it very easy to picture the scene......
This one reaches in and breaks my heart with its poignancy - as the daughter of/sister of/niece of/cousin of Veterans, and a Veteran, myself, this is deeply personal. None whom have served should be nearly homeless, go hungry, go without adequate medical care (which they were promised) - thank you for remembering sacrifices, paid (and still being paid) - well done.
The entire scenario is one right out of the romance novels with "Moon River" playing in the background. This touched me way down deep John because I've been in the same place. I refused to open my heart after a long time. I did and now everything is better. WE all need to love at one point in our life so we know true love. I wonder if this isn't our purpose at birth.
You've come a long way in writing and it comes from opening your own fears and producing the stuff that makes you a winner!
believe it!
You are!
Love and blessings!
Susan
I wish I could tell you how much this touched me... remembering friends and family who came home but never truly 'came back'. Riveting and brilliant piece of writing, John, told with an honesty of our generation. Always, Myrna
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on February 8, 2008
AWESOME! . . . That is a word I almost detest, but there is no other word to fit this wonderful piece of work, my friend . . . I still have chills running along my spine since I read the last line of this true tribute to the men who fought for us, who died for us, who were maimed for us and who, like the man in this poem must sometimes feel, why was I one of the ones to survive . . . For what . . . Heart-wrenching, John, simply heart-wrenching . . .
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And "remembering a lost summer
of the love generation
and nightmares of the jungle"
those three lines that say so much about the past
and state of mind!
Excellent writing, a true poetic talent
that doesn't need a prefabricated form
to exist.
Axilea
such an intimate portrait of much more than a lonely man, but a lonely world; isolative and contemplative.
what a voice you possess.
ness
This one has shot an arrow straight through my heart for it has brought back vivid memories of that steaming jungle from long ago. I was never spat upon but was made to feel that my tour of duty was something I should have felt guilty about...as though I had done something terribly wrong. And, truth be known, no one ever talked with me about it. When I visited "The Wall" in Washington, the closer I got, the harder my heart pounded. Once there, tears streamed down my face, and I nearly exploded with emotion. Thank you so much for this piece and for the peace it gives me, for I felt near its ending, when you wrote, "the door is held open as he pushes forward," you were saying this soldier, in one defining moment, received his due respect. In a sense, I want you to tell me if my interpretation is correct. On the other hand, if I have misinterpreted, be kind and leave me to my own understanding. Again, thank you, my dear friend. Your words stir such emotions from within.
David
Again, truly inspirational. Diana.
Blessings...
Micke
and like your style.
fall from a jukebox
of waxed dreams
and spindled wishes
while a lost appetite
only desires black coffee
This is exactly how it feels when love is taken away unexpectedly...perfect.
Mahalao, K2
I'm not getting updates on anyone I'm tracking. I thought you all took vacations at the same time.
Regis
Sanja xo
very nice work...
Art Sun...
Ron
Tony
Sandy
God Bless
Michelle~
Blessings,
Joyce B.
This one is good--very good. --Charlie
This one captivates..
Ron
You treat the reader with intelligece, by just saying enough and our minds fill in the rest of the picture.
One can hear the poets voice with the crisp imagery...
Heartfelt and profound
Enjoyed much, thanks for sharing this Jewel
Peace be with you
William
Very Well Done!
Newfie Hugs, Rose
Conterculture tells of love reflexion on wet asphalt.
Well done.
Georg
Be always safe,
Karen
You portray this most sensitively.
God bless you. Kathy
This one reaches in and breaks my heart with its poignancy - as the daughter of/sister of/niece of/cousin of Veterans, and a Veteran, myself, this is deeply personal. None whom have served should be nearly homeless, go hungry, go without adequate medical care (which they were promised) - thank you for remembering sacrifices, paid (and still being paid) - well done.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. *tears*
Kathy
I love the metaphors and imagery in this one...Powerful and profoundly written.
Cryssa
You've come a long way in writing and it comes from opening your own fears and producing the stuff that makes you a winner!
believe it!
You are!
Love and blessings!
Susan