Writ In a Big Rig, in a truck stop, somewhere in the contiguous Un-United States,

One Present Babies born near Christmas Day

If we'd been born another time

It would've been worth the pay!

'That will do for Christmas and your Birthday too!'

No it bloody will not, you think that I'm a Fool?

I get you two presents, one for Christmas Day

And another present, when it is your birthday

All I get is one thing nowhere near a double!

Then you ask me the reason why I am so much trouble!

You may think about me, oh yeh let's have a laugh

Next time it's your birthday, I'll only get you half!

Half a present from me and half on Christmas Day

Let's see how you like it, see if it makes your day!

So One Present Babies, we should form a Clan

And banish only one present. D'ya think I gotta plan?

We'll beat the buggars yes we will, we'll beat them at their game

Then see how they like it because we'll know their pain!

It is not from malice, well maybe just a tad

To want to see another's pain, well ain't that just too bad!

The pain we get from year one is with us all the time

One thing I can tell you, it really ain't sublime!

So One Present Babies, if they don't love you enough

You just gotta love yourself, that's it my friends! Tough Luck!