I'm a fat poll cat on a fence,
I've got the cure for the ails of man.
Wrapped in a flag, tapping the trends,
I'm armed with promises and a plan:
Taxes are good--Freedom is bad
Do as you're told--My lies are true .
I'll keep you safe--Don't worry about the 
Liberties I take--Someone needs to think for you.
I rob Tobacco and Big Business.
I've soul-killing reforms to fund.
Sure I've issues all tucked away,
I just don't show them to anyone.
Give me a buck, you'll get back a dime.
In God we trust? That will be the day.
Pardon me, planet Washington is calling
I must make more laws I won't obey.
Calling all hate-mongers--
(only millionaires need apply).
There no room in the system
for common sense or common guys.
Just hug a tree and eat tofu,
Marry your dog, but leave well enough alone.
I'm doing my job!  Who you going to believe--
Me or your own two eyes?