It Was Christmas Time,
December 1979,
Santa Clause From The North Pole,
Flew Across Great Britain,
It Snowed In So Many Years,
Heavens Were Crying In Tears,
Daman Was A Six,
Wasn't Anything He Was Afraid of,
Nor Anything He Cannot Fix,
He Was Playing With Snakes & Sheep's At Age Three,
Angel's Playing Games With Him All Night & Day,
Testing Him To Go Farther,
Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer Would Take Him Much Higher in Snowy Weather,
It Was In The Dover Docks
Time Was 9 'O' Clock,
All The Children's Were Tall, Pink & Grey,
He Was The Brightest Star,
On Cold Winters Day,
Daman Was Six Years Old,
His Dad Was Worried Whether He Gets A Cold,
When Santa Came To His Sight,
He Was Happy,
Running So Fast,
Before The Sweets To Last,
Santa Clause Was Giving Out Sweets,
The Snow Queen's Feast,
She Honored Him - The Prince of East,
Daman Made Everyone So Wealthy There,
The Snow Queen Gave The Little Daman A Ticket Fare,
Daman Was So Bright,
He Would Even Beat Monster's In A Fight,
It Snowed in Longsight For A While,
His Uncle Walked Several Miles,
Little Daman Came Down From The Cloud,
He Was So Proud,
The Children's Were Happy Playing Outside InThe Cold Snow,
Cars Being Towed,
Memories Never Fade,
Time Changed When The Our Planets Were Made,
Sister Solar Gave Birth To Nine Babies,
Each Are Collecting A College Fee,
Each Competing Amongst Each Other,
Reaching To One Mother,
The Queen Bee Of Milkyways,
Planets of Substance,
Never Blow A Chance,
This Is A Big Day Today,
- Seven Knights & One Days Pay,
By Damien Roji-OBE,Ekushoy Padok copyright ©️
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Ron
I don't know how others appear to follow you in your train of thought, since there's a serious drawback in enunciation and layout on your part. The following remarks apply to the poems of yours I read recently:
1. Your use of pronouns is a mix-up alright.
2. Singular and plural and the possesive case adds to the obfuscation.
3. The persona of the poem is often a torture to extract.
4. You start off on one leg and lose your way soon enough.
5. Relating personal experiences is not necessarily the best way to choose a subject matter for poetry. In fact, autobiographical accounts degenerate into nombrilism and hardly serve to elucudate your propositions, though occasionally - if well written - can make for worthwhile reading.
Your first stanza in this poem could be re-written as follows:
"December 1979
Santa Clause from the North Pole [no need for commas]
Flew across Great Britain.
It snowed for many years.
The Heavens shed tears.
Daman was only six,
Wasn't anything he was afraid of
Nor anything he couldn't fix,
He Was playing with Snakes & Sheep's at age three," ["Sheep" is plural unless you mean something like "Snakes and Ladders", then why the apostrophe?]...
I think you get the general idea. First and foremost, it's a question of grammar.
Every good wish. It's a great honour to be asked to comment. Thank ypiu very much. Wignesan