If I Close My Eyes... (poem) by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie on AuthorsDen

Reviewed on October 30, 2006

Another powerful poem filled with anguish .........M

Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic (Reader)

Reviewed on August 28, 2006

My eyes are closed so tight,
Fists clenched to my sides,
I am praying tonight to any God that will listen,
Please don’t let him see me,
There is no place I’d rather be,
Then here in this dark abyss,
Surrounded by nothingness,
Heart beating wildly,
My mind repeating softly,
If I close my eyes,
Please don’t let him see me…

OMG!! This is hear-wrenching yet profoundly beautiful..

Vesna.)

Reviewed by Marilyn Seray

Reviewed on August 19, 2006

fright expressed from a childs point of view. Scary no matter what the age. Nicely done

Reviewed by jude forese

Reviewed on August 17, 2006

this childhood perception also applies to adulthood ... at times, we wish people would just avoid finding us, so we hide from them, hoping we won't be noticed ...

excellent write ...

Reviewed by C. McGovern-Bowen

Reviewed on August 11, 2006

a child's innocence fused with dark terror.
brilliant conceptualization, riveting prose.
leaves one pondering at many levels of consciousness.
great work, retta!
always a pleasure to read your work.
peace and blessings,
carolyn

Reviewed by richard poor

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

wow,very good!!! it just is memory in words.

Reviewed by Connie Hinnen Cook (Reader)

Reviewed on August 10, 2006

Oh, my! This one really grips the imagination!
Fear seeps thru every line, for me. Am sure each
reader will take away a different thought.
Very well done, Retta!

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)

Reviewed on August 9, 2006

This touched me as something a young child in a not so good situation would be saying.......don't let him see me! Not sure if this is what you meant but this is how it touched me. Great write!

Reviewed by Lynn Barry

Reviewed on August 4, 2006

Powerful powerful read ...you are brilliant!

Reviewed by Kate Burnside

Reviewed on August 3, 2006

This is so powerful, Retta, that my heart is beatin like a caged bird... in the same way as that fusion of adrenalin of fear and excitement used to in the hide-and-seek games as a kid. Most wonderful capture and the possible outcomes and possibilities fill the mind with curiosity, anticipation... and a kind of dread. Great write!! TY Kate xx

Reviewed by Nordette Adams

Reviewed on August 3, 2006

I don't know what to say, Retta. Deep as an old soul, thick and plush like an overstuffed velvet pillow, a pool of vulnerabilities. WOW! ~~Nordette

Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*® (Reader)

Reviewed on August 1, 2006

Dear Reindeer,

Your poetry is beautiful, as always, and this childhood memory remains with me. Even so, my perspective has shifted and I no longer wish to close my eyes for fear that I would miss all the beauty this life has to offer.

Love & Light,
Joseph

Reviewed by sanil nath (Reader)

Reviewed on August 1, 2006

Nice write, you always give an excellent thought before writing something.

Reviewed by Amor Sabor

Reviewed on July 31, 2006

There is something magical, haunting and yet beautiful about this piece. The pic is so alluring.
Amor

Reviewed by Cynth'ya Reed

Reviewed on July 31, 2006

I thought of the "him" as Dafur, and the one with closed eyes as "America." Just in that frame of mind even though your poem is not about genocide. Issues of humanity are just where I am tonight. And as always I do appreciate and admire your words paired with amazing pictoral images.
blessin's
cynth'ya

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)

Reviewed on July 29, 2006

My son would close his eyes. "you can't see me Daddy"
I don't sense joy in this read though.
I sense a very frighten little girl, In trepidation..

Reviewed by Aberjhani

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

A sumptuous fusion of thrilling memory and elusive terror(?). The sense of secrecy is almost parallel with a sense of the forbidden and fills the reader with as profound a feeling of joy as dread. Deeply stirring lines. Extraordinary work of poetic art.
Aberjhani

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson (Reader)

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Sometimes the nothingness can be a
blessing for me..
Wonderful write......

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Reindeer,

Chilling, haunting imagery and emotion, grippingly written. BRAVA!

(((((HUGS))))) and love, Karla.

Good to see you again--you've been missed!

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

mesmerizing poem Reindeer! I remember that game so well and the emotions you portray are so real they made me feel them! Gripping!

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

A most compelling write, Retta. Thank you for sharing it. Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Reindeer,

Simply spellbinding; very well penned! BRAVA!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

A powerfully haunting piece, Reindeer. And I love that graphic.

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Terrifying poetry of fear personified. I must be dense, because I mised the "sweetness" of this poem, scared the hell out of me.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Outstanding piece Retta!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Felix Perry

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Very intense images from childhood combined with an adults fear of committment keep this poem cutting edge and grips the readers attention to the very end. Intense.
Fee

Reviewed by F William Broome

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

"If I Close My Eyes," passes the tests; the first one, that of reading - flowing so well and peaking interest that I, too, was breathing rapidly until the end; and then the message itself - different and imaginative beyond my words. Sweet and magnificiently tender, too!
A joy in the morning! - Bill

Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope)

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

If I close my eyes,
Will you still see me?

Very sweet poem expression of love and passion

Reviewed by Steve Patterson

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

beautiful.
excellent write.

Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot

Reviewed on July 28, 2006

Such a deep lament, to which I can relate. Sometimes it just feels right to hide ourselves for a time, till strength comes and allows us to open our tightly closed eye's...
Be well and be Blessed
Hugs
Ch'erie