Altered by someone you love. A man who was once a sweet gentle kind of soul. The ancestor we all wish to have as we grow up. This man, I later found was not at all what he portrayed. He took a part of me - the child in me away. Bound with strong vision was the woman I became from before. The pain I must face now is far deeper than in words I can find. It's like a dagger in my heart that built this wall so tall standing right before me. Offering a need to protect from even a holy embrace? Forever altered is my family life. That was the day he took a part of me away. The facade we all lived for a lifetime and never once knew. Even still, they are all dwelling in it today as if nothing happened. Why I may never know. Pure sadness lies in the matter, that it’s not for a meantime. No, not for me. For me, it’s my lifetime. My solemn wish is to forgive him for his evil deeds, but until then, I must dwell in this altered state. After all, forgiveness is a journey and my only avenue to keep sane. The distance I've chosen shall keep me safe from his harm's way. I am altered thanks to him.

He was the only grandfather I ever knew, but he wasn't blood related. God takes care of those who are ill, but sickness of the mind that leads to perverted acts is far too much to accept. I pray for those who are less fortunate than I. For I was spared from a childhood of abuse, I only learned as an adult - and that I can learn to forgive, because I have the mind to know right from wrong and children are taught right from wrong. For if it had happened as a child I would have learned wrong to right...