I don’t see them, I don’t hear from them,

But I suppose it’s only right,

After all it’s me and not their mum,

That walked out of their lives.

They probably think I didn’t love them,

Or else, why would I leave?

I never really did explain to them,

And I doubt now that they’d believe,

I loved them then, I love them now,

In truth I always will,

I didn’t leave for some ambition,

That I thought I must fulfil.

Or because I had some other woman,

That I loved more than their mum,

That never was the reason,

For the things that were to come,

Though let me say, right from the start,

I was no kind of saint,

And there’s so many, many things I’d change,

If I could do it all again,

But the past cannot be altered,

Mistakes remain mistakes,

I cannot turn back the hands of time,

Even for my children’s sake.

In truth, it was their mother,

That had wished to leave our home,

For feelings she’d long harboured,

About which, I’d never known.

But I truly loved their mother,

More than I loved me,

It’s corny, yes I know it is,

But I’m speaking honestly,

So I didn’t want to see her leave,

And have nowhere to live,

I say this by way of explanation,

I don’t expect them to forgive.

I believed their mum was more important,

To their young lives, than I was,

A mistaken belief perhaps,

But I thought that way because,

I had never known my father,

I was brought up by my mum,

And believed children need their mother,

Especially their sons,

I swear to God, i wish I’d stayed,

And done things differently,

And I know that it’s my own fault,

That they have no time for me,

But it breaks my heart to think my children,

Believe I didn’t care,

When there was more going on behind the scenes,

Than the children were aware,

As in most situations,

Where children are involved,

In matrimonial differences,

That cannot be resolved,

In retrospect and hindsight,

If I could do it all again,

I’d let their mother leave home,

And I would stay with them.

But the years have flown and they are grown,

And no longer come to call,

So all I can do, for each of you,

Is say, “I’m so sorry”, to you all.

By

S.E.Ralph

29/7/2019