AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Peter Jessop, i RickthePoetWarrior, iM. R. Mathias, iErin Kelly-Moen, iFlo Fitzpatrick, iR.E.E.S Blogs Linda Smith, Publisher, iMary Lynn Plaisance, iGracie McKeever, iBryon Smith, iJames Hill, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     
Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· 383 Titles
· 130 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor), click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.


HUMOROUS Exercise Quotes and One-liners
by Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
Jerry Aragon Ph.D (Phunny humor Doctor)

• PRACTICAL JOKE; Fun With a WOODEN DONUT
• St. Jude Children's Hospital (Partners In Hope)
• CONSTIPATED? or Just STUCK-UP?
• SPORTS and CABLE Are Out Of My Life!
• ORGAN DONOR; Celebrate the Gift of Life
           >> View all

I've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and I never get tired of making people laugh. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, for whatever ails you...the positive and healing power of humor.

"Exercise is a dirty word.  Everytime I say it, I wash out my mouth with chocolate."  Judy Davenport

This is my all-time favorite quote;
"We humans are perfect examples that God has a sense of humor."  Scribbeto Bungo 

"My idea of exercise, is a brisk sit."  Phyliss Diller

"I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what the hell I'm doing."  Marsha Doble

I lost so much weight, and I'm so skinny now, that I have to run around in the shower to get wet! 

"A man's health is judged by which he takes; pills or stairs."  Joan Welch 

"Fitness: if it came in a bottle, everyone would be in good shape."  Cher

"If it were not for the televisions and refrigerators...some people would not get any exercise at all."  Joey Adams

"For those who think they have no time for bodily exercise...will find out later...they will have time for bodily illness."  Edmund Stanley

areobics (description);  a series of exercises, which helps fats, sugars, starches into aches, pains and cramps. 

"I consider exercise vulgar.  It makes people smell."  Alec Thorton

If your dog is fat...you know you've been getting enough exercise. 

"I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me."  Mark Twain 

"Whenever I feel like exercising...I lay down for a few minutes...until the feeling goes away." Robert Hutchin

I don't care about being big and strong...I just want to look good naked.

Exercise: A poor man's plastic surgery.

Exercise is inspiring...I love to be surrounded by dumb-bells.

Maybe the reader has heard this a few times from the arrogant...
I don't sweat, honey, I glisten! 

Runners make the best girlfriends...catch me if you can...

Philosopher:  I'm in no shape to exercise. 

I may be fat and slow...but what's your excuse?

God must love calories...because He made so many!

Did you know that...sweat is FAT crying.

I keep trying to lose weight...but, it keeps finding me.

Of course, I'm in shape.  Isn't ROUND a shape? 

I lost so much weight and I am so skinny, that I only have one back pocket...

Believe me, I would go to the gym more often, if it had a smoking section!

I DONUT work out to look this good. 

My exercise consists of clicking and double-clicking and that's all I need.

And last, but not least...

I signed up for an exercise class, and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing.  If I had loose-fitting clothing...I would not have signed up for the exersice class in the first place!

SITE MAP For Hopelessly Lost Souls;
Copyright; 2011; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor;
Website name;
humordoctormd


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Mary Patterson
Reviewed on October 31, 2011
PRICELESS! I was laughing all the way through this fuuy write up!.....M

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  5.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Losing Ticket
  9.  Shot/No Shot
  10.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  11.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  12.  Getting Old In The Real World
  13.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  14.  More GFI
  15.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  16.  Imminent Danger
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  Toughest Million
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  22.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life
  25.  NEW KEYBOARD

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirzes in adult language and content 18 famous Edgar Allan Poe stories.  
Member BookAds

Love is a Pretty Girl with a Cape to Share Your Dreams With by Bob Boze

A humorous look at the world and life through my eyes. Follow the author and his wife, as they travel the world …. several times over. Laugh at their funny stories, self-inflicted crazy events, strange observations, wacky zoo facts and snippets  
Member BookAds

A Relief of Doodie: Shtty Stories to Read on the Pot by Jay Horne

Stories Worth Wiping Your A** With Whether you're making a deposit at the stank bank, dropping a return at the squat shop, or conducting a brown business meeting, these perfectly timed tales provide the literary fragrance your privacy deserves. F  
Member BookAds