A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am

by a loud pounding at  the door where

a drunken stranger, standing in the rain,

is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," said the husband...

"it's 3;00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him," she asks

"No, I did not...it's pouring rain out there?"

"Well, you sure do have a short memory," says his wife."  Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?  I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!  God loves drunk people, too." 

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. 

He call out in the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please," comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing-set," replied the drunk. 

Coffee Dilema

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.  The wife said,

"You should brew the coffee, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." 

The husband said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here, and you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should brew the coffee."

The husband replies, "I don't believe it...show me!"

So, she fetched the Bible, and opened it to the New Testament, and shows him at the top of every page that indeed says, "HEBREWS" 

You've Got Mail

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blond female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox.  She open it, and then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house!

A little later, she came out of the house once again...went to the mailbox, and again opened it and slammed it shut again!  Angrily, she went back into the house! 

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again...marched to the mailbox...opened it and slammed it harder than ever!

Puzzeled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is there anything wrong?"

In which she replied, "There certainly is.  My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

SITE MAP For Hopelessly Lost Souls;

Copyright; 2011; Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor
Website name; humordoctormd
http://humordoctormd.homestead.com