How are you?  

He or she responds:

I am OK!

What does it really mean?

She may be hurting and still say "I am OK"!  This is a typical respond of most people.

She may feel her problems may be a burden on others and say "I am OK".

She may be used to her unhealthy situation and say "I am OK".

How do we do to really know if a friend is OK or not?

We need to be caring, curious and ask questions.

- What was exciting about your day?

- What was challenging?

- You sound sad, what is bothering you? 

- What fun thing did you do last weekend?

- Why I have not heard from you lately?

We do not need to give advice to our friends. Most people just want to be heard and share how they feel. Some may seek advice from us and some may not.

Pay attention to tone of voice, body language and any unusual changes in your friend's behavior.

OK may not be OK.

Of course, if such a question directed at you by a friend, be honest and ask your friend if he or she has time to hear you.

Copyright . 2016 by Shervin Hojat