1- Codependency: Our happiness is solely based on happiness of spouse or family members or a friend. We lose sense of who we are and what we want, and our day-to-day happiness is at mercy their life situation and their mood.

2- Forcing Change: We want others to change. We do not like someone or a behavior and yet we talk about the situation non-stop even when the situation is removed. We forget that reaction to the event or a person is under our control. We may not be able to force changes on others, yet we can control how we internalize a situation.

3- Regrets without any positive action: We may regret that we did not spend quality time with our loved ones who have passed away. We are so zealously focused on that regret that we miss opportunities to spend any quality time with our loved ones who are still alive. Regret without a corrective action just saps our happiness and denies opportunities for joy.

4- Self-neglect: We neglect our emotional, physical and mental wellness for noble causes such as caring and sacrificing for others. This re-enforces the belief that our needs do not matter, and we are worthless if we are not needed. The truth is when we are not balanced we rarely can be effective in helping anyone else.

5- Blame: We excessively blame others for what is happening in our lives. When we blame others then we give the power to them and we resign from any responsibility of changing our lives for better. 

6- Talk without action: We talk about our problems daily and often and do not take any small steps to improve the situation. We keep listing all the reasons why something cannot be done without discussing any solution.

7- Lack of Gratitude:   We do not celebrate our blessings, and take them for granted, yet we mourn their loss deeply when they are gone.

Copyright . 2016 by Shervin Hojat