AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Trennis Killian, iScott Zachary, i Armand, iBob mitchley #shock stories, iFlo Fitzpatrick, iDeborah Frontiera, iT. Weber, iRaven West, iPaul Lonardo, iMargot Dillard, i

  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

By George xx xx

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Success story
· Books
· Articles
· News
· Blog
· Messages
· 622 Titles
· 377 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Before 2003

   newsletter

Subscribe to the By George xx xx Newsletter. Enter your name and email below and click "sign me up!"
Name:
Email:
By George xx xx, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen!

Books by
By George xx xx



See all Books
by By George xx xx


Baby's Talk
by By George xx xx   
Rated "G" by the Author.
     
Recent articles by
By George xx xx

• Shot/No Shot
• Mutant
• Spark Plug
• That's Life!
• Power Outage
           >> View all

Early Child Psychology

Baby’s Talk

Professor Penwose
Early Child Psychology

Most folks tend to try to get their newborn’s to talk with conventional methods like making weird sounds…GooGoo, MaMa, Dada.
Little do they know how they are affecting their baby’s psyche?

For those of you who would like to get their infants talking sooner, do what the experts do…Put a glob of peanut butter in its mouth.

That’s how they made Mr. Ed talk, and if they can make a horse talk, it certainly should work for your kid, unless they are dumber than a horse, which you can blame on your spouses side of the family.

Imagine having him/her taking their first steps and being able to tell you their feelings.

Grandparents can emerge to the forefront of their grandchildren’s lives by smuggling a jar of peanut butter in their diaper bag and slipping them a hunk when no one’s looking. Think of the excitement when the parents find out.

Only make sure it’s Smooth. Some dumb prop guy gave Mr. Ed “chunky,” and he choked on the peanuts.

Unknown insider fact about Mr. Ed…
Mr. Ed was actually Eduardo. He was from Spain, a Spanish Stallion, so naturally he spoke Spanish. All of his lines had to be dubbed.

Penwose Out,
By George
NoPo8


Want to review or comment on this article?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on February 26, 2020
Most people don't know peanut butter from dog shit. How do I know? All you have to do is put some on your shoe in polite company and then, look down, seeing it, announce. "Hey, that looks like dog shit!" And then, reach down, take a finger full and taste it. Declaring, "Yes… That sure is dog shit!"

I agree. My twin brother had to go a speech therapist in the fourth grade because he still had a little bit of baby talk hanging around. I started talking about eight months and never shut up. I really was turned off when a business professor colleague of mine who was staying with me temporarily called up his executive daughter in NYC every evening and talked baby talk to her the whole time. No wonder she wasn't married in her late twenties!

Bye, George,

Ron

Popular Humor Articles
  1.  Crash Dummies
  2.  Penny Power
  3.  Pedicure and Chicken
  4.  Snow White Trailer Trash Talk
  5.  Beware the Tsundoku!
  6.  How to Survive Bean Soup, The Game.
  7.  Poetry Submission
  8.  Shot/No Shot
  9.  Losing Ticket
  10.  Kaltenheiss's famed Katya im Boxer qua
  11.  Dilatation of Closed Phrenix Confabula
  12.  Precedent Linkin's Gettysberg A Dress
  13.  Imminent Danger
  14.  Getting Old In The Real World
  15.  More GFI
  16.  Breaking Bad meets Star Trek and Pies
  17.  The Left-Handed Heart
  18.  The Great Turtle Stampede
  19.  My colonoscopy 3/20/14 – I have to tel
  20.  Spark Plug
  21.  Toughest Million
  22.  Battle of the Bulge: Jesus Hates Speed
  23.  Problem Solving, Or The Day My Septic
  24.  NEW KEYBOARD
  25.  Segments from a Bifurcated Life

Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Soldier's Gap by David Schwinghammer

Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading. "Murder isn't usually this funny." Amazon reviewer  
Member BookAds

The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Doo-Doo-Rot-on-Me is adult satirical humor featuring adult language and adult content, and the work is a parody of the Old Testament Book of Deuteronomy.  
Member BookAds

Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized by Jay Dubya

Author Jay Dubya satirizes 20 Mark Twain stories in adult language and content.  
Member BookAds