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Leland Waldrip

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Member Since: Aug, 2001

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Breathe Easy
by Leland Waldrip

Saturday, May 31, 2003

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           >> View all 299

This is a "poetized" version of the story, Breathing Easy.



She paused,


Gazing, no expression,


smoldering, 


unfiltered cigarette


between her fingers.


"You know, the thing about love


is that it suffocates."


She lifted her head, slowly nodding


To acknowledge the sound of her wisdom.


Her eyes fixed his with resolute stare.


 


“Suffocates,”


he repeated, sneering, eyebrows raised,


a dare wedded to his return gaze.


“The thing about cigarettes


is that they suffocate.


Love or not,


I would rather  ...



How can I reach you?


How many birthdays


do you think you have left,


sucking that stuff into your lungs?”


 


“Maybe that’s what I’ll do . . .”


 


“What?”


He stopped cutting,


 the kitchen knife poised


over the cake.


 


“Leave you.”


She said it calmly.


 


He glared at her for seconds,


hurled the knife across the room,


Hit dangerously close to the cat,


skittered into the hall,


trail of crumbs in its wake.


 


Cat passed still spinning blade,


rounded bedroom doorway


en route under-bed hideaway,


calico tail wringing for balance


on polished floor.


 


He drew deep breath


into rage-reddened face.


“Lately, whatever I say,


you pull away.


Why is that?”


 


She ignored question,


 followed cat,


reappeared.


Suitcase lid bulged,


white blouse sleeve waved.


Stopped at front entrance,


turned, him to face.


Before I go out this door,


I have something to say:


I probably will quit smoking,


I intended so tonight.


But,


Mr. Perfection:


smoke or fresh air —


on my remaining birthdays


I breathe without supervision.


Have a nice life.”


BLAM!!!!!

Rappahannock Books

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Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader) 8/12/2003
**brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr** Chilling write!
Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader) 6/5/2003

Ha ha! I loved the way you ended this. This is BLAM! Truly a very profound message in this little piece :)

Thanks,

Teresa
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 6/2/2003
Been there! and left. Years later I heard the apology but it was too late. Great write.
Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci 6/1/2003
Bravo!! This was awesome!! I am clapping!

Maria
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 6/1/2003
Like this story, you are good at this!
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 6/1/2003
Oh Leland! You really know how to tell stories. This is so great! The scene just played inside my head while reading this. So alive and real! Great job indeed!

May Lu $*_*$ a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader) 6/1/2003
Now this is as well written as one can possibly do. Too bad that you missed the cat.
Reviewed by Kerry Compton Star Girl 6/1/2003
OOOOO OUCH!
Reviewed by jude forese 6/1/2003
very well written story/poem...
Reviewed by ***** ********* (Reader) 5/31/2003
Man, oh MAN, Leland, this was GREAT! Great pacing, even some cinematic imagery! Outstanding storytelling in a poetic format! MAJOR kudos!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 5/31/2003
Wow..This was powerfully written, and very excellent! I loved this, drew me in, and kept me there,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 5/31/2003
The part about the cat made me feel this had been experienced, Leland, masterfully done! :)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 5/31/2003
Wow! What a great write Leland! You are gifted;-)!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/31/2003
Damn it close that door don't slam it...
Methinks melikes it!!

Love
Tinka
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 5/31/2003
Wow...snappy comeback. lol
Good one...
Reviewed by Toris Okotie 5/31/2003
wooow, what a suspence. It make me what to read all of it. I'll try to read the story form, thanx for sharing this informative piece.
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