For as long as I can remember..
I have been a stubborn willful girl..
God knows it has caused me
many problems
in this messed up world.
I trusted no one..
I rarely said a word..
but when I did..
most of what I said
was not heard..
Court ordered
into this institution..
Because of a life of abuse..
That I did not afflict..
But it didn't matter
I was just the kid..
"Protective order"
is what the judge called it..
Translation..
Imprisonment..
Lets call it what is!
Bull shit I spat at the shocked judge..
I did NOTHING wrong..
Why am I to be locked away..
Like some criminal..
Why must I pay?
While she gets away scott free..
this system sucks..
it is insanity.
With down cast eyes..
The judge did agree.
but said his hands were tied..
it was the best for me..
and the law was the law.
had to be followed to the tee.
Well, your laws stinks..
and so do you..
for not standing up..
and doing the right thing to do..
I now belonged to the state..
just another road to nowhere..
Just a piece of bait..
Now my childhood was lock up..
With
felons
prostitutes
paranoia
pyromaniacs
sociopaths
Girl you better
watch your back..
And a few like me..
ordinary child abuse..
We had code blues..
ICU's
Academy vans
to catch you if you ran
Pimps coming from the Twin Cities
to pick up their whores
Baring guns..
not afraid to use it on..
anyone.
That first year
I had my share of fights..
Showing everyone
I could be just a tough.
Proving myself
was a must..
I went through
counselor after counselor.
dozens I believe.
All calling me incorrigible
unbreakable..
a lost cause..
too far gone..
Stupid silly people..
They just could
never understand..
there are no
lost causes..
only lost children..
But this they could
never comprehend..
I never talked with them..
Simply because
I had nothing to say..
Not to some damn
paid employee.
who got a check
to care about me
for a day..
Get over it!!
What do I look like
a charity case..
If you can't be real..
Don't ask how I feel..
Get out of my face!!
Let me be on my way out..
I can handle this on my own..
Who asked for your help anyway.
I was punished..
put on restrictions..
Locked on ICU for days..
All because I wouldn't talk..
To these people..
Fall for power plays..
Hey, that is what is was..
So then they drugged me
with elivil..
thorizine
and more..
They thought that would
make me open up..
But it just
double locked that door..
yes, they may have won
The battle..
But truth is
I won the war..
I waited ever so patiently
for the person I could relate to..
Eventually
they found the right person..
And not a moment too soon..
I was going down hill fast..
Drugged ..
Locked forever in my room.
Finally I had someone
Who didn't bully her way in..
She waited ever so patiently
Until we became good friends..
That woman's name was Dorothy..
An angel sent for me.
She was the only one
who could ever help..
The one who saved me
From myself.
For so long I was
utterly alone
Until the years in this place..
turned it into my home.
It is my privilage to call you friend. We are kindred souls and our message will change the world for some child living the nightmare that you and I survived. I toast you courage and honesty.
painful and amazing...!!!!
YOU..(((YOU)))
no bull, all truth and so well done, to the core and honest/life...ohhhh, poet/woman!
AWESOME WORK...HERE AND IN YOUR LIFE!
(Yes, agree, a book! I...well, know of pain and redemption, or at least some, lol? & a book, in my head for years, not easy, but...)
In any case, amazing!
"They just could
never understand..
there are no
lost causes..
only lost children.. "
and some lost adults, but Oh..This line stopped me cold...luckier than many am I, had a family, good, etc... BUT you make a point so many NEED TO KNOW!!!
((((E.I.)))
BRAVO!
Erica, I am crying my eyes and heart out over this story. I am so angry that you had to go through this. I know it made you stronger. You are an amazing woman to have survived this and Dorothy, your angel, deserves a medal for saving you.
This one deserves an award!Erica, you should really be writing a book , hope you are. No one can ever repay you for what you have suffered. However, I can pray that God will relieve you of the horrid memories you have, and replace them with thoughts of future happiness.Bless you!
Robert Burns' first daughter was Elizabeth. Her story and the five descendants Scottish lives are recorded here with the Bard's message today as ever in need. Al Quida listen: Then let us pray that come it may, As come it will for a' that. That Sense
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You as I,Belive Me, Erica,You Will See JUSTICE SERVED Before You Leave This World,i.e. By Me TRASK...
Your Friend, TRASK
YOU..(((YOU)))
no bull, all truth and so well done, to the core and honest/life...ohhhh, poet/woman!
AWESOME WORK...HERE AND IN YOUR LIFE!
(Yes, agree, a book! I...well, know of pain and redemption, or at least some, lol? & a book, in my head for years, not easy, but...)
In any case, amazing!
"They just could
never understand..
there are no
lost causes..
only lost children.. "
and some lost adults, but Oh..This line stopped me cold...luckier than many am I, had a family, good, etc... BUT you make a point so many NEED TO KNOW!!!
((((E.I.)))
BRAVO!
This is so heart wretching my dear.
Excellent message for those still suffering.
peg
I applaud your strength....
you are amazing
Anita : )
Scada
josie