Eau Claire Academy 2 (poem) by Erica Ivory on AuthorsDen

Eau Claire Academy 2
by Erica Ivory → (All Poetry by Erica Ivory)

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There is a method to my madness..

For as long as I can remember.. I have been a stubborn willful girl.. God knows it has caused me many problems in this messed up world. I trusted no one.. I rarely said a word.. but when I did.. most of what I said was not heard.. Court ordered into this institution.. Because of a life of abuse.. That I did not afflict.. But it didn't matter I was just the kid.. "Protective order" is what the judge called it.. Translation.. Imprisonment.. Lets call it what is! Bull shit I spat at the shocked judge.. I did NOTHING wrong.. Why am I to be locked away.. Like some criminal.. Why must I pay? While she gets away scott free.. this system sucks.. it is insanity. With down cast eyes.. The judge did agree. but said his hands were tied.. it was the best for me.. and the law was the law. had to be followed to the tee. Well, your laws stinks.. and so do you.. for not standing up.. and doing the right thing to do.. I now belonged to the state.. just another road to nowhere.. Just a piece of bait.. Now my childhood was lock up.. With felons prostitutes paranoia pyromaniacs sociopaths Girl you better watch your back.. And a few like me.. ordinary child abuse.. We had code blues.. ICU's Academy vans to catch you if you ran Pimps coming from the Twin Cities to pick up their whores Baring guns.. not afraid to use it on.. anyone. That first year I had my share of fights.. Showing everyone I could be just a tough. Proving myself was a must.. I went through counselor after counselor. dozens I believe. All calling me incorrigible unbreakable.. a lost cause.. too far gone.. Stupid silly people.. They just could never understand.. there are no lost causes.. only lost children.. But this they could never comprehend.. I never talked with them.. Simply because I had nothing to say.. Not to some damn paid employee. who got a check to care about me for a day.. Get over it!! What do I look like a charity case.. If you can't be real.. Don't ask how I feel.. Get out of my face!! Let me be on my way out.. I can handle this on my own.. Who asked for your help anyway. I was punished.. put on restrictions.. Locked on ICU for days.. All because I wouldn't talk.. To these people.. Fall for power plays.. Hey, that is what is was.. So then they drugged me with elivil.. thorizine and more.. They thought that would make me open up.. But it just double locked that door.. yes, they may have won The battle.. But truth is I won the war.. I waited ever so patiently for the person I could relate to.. Eventually they found the right person.. And not a moment too soon.. I was going down hill fast.. Drugged .. Locked forever in my room. Finally I had someone Who didn't bully her way in.. She waited ever so patiently Until we became good friends.. That woman's name was Dorothy.. An angel sent for me. She was the only one who could ever help.. The one who saved me From myself. For so long I was utterly alone Until the years in this place.. turned it into my home. ERICA --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen

Reviewed on March 25, 2003

Jerry and I lived in Eau Claire in 1986 to 88, Erica. On London Road past the Randalls Grocery all the way to the end in a huge old farmhouse right next to the freeway. They built that mall while we were there and took part of the land of our rental to make a freeway exit/entrance after we left... Jerry was going to the Tech School, I worked at the Woolworths as a cook... I am so sorry that the place has such horrible memories for you. You have a very strong, shining spirit that comes through in your work. Thank you for sharing with us, my friend.

Reviewed by J John (Reader)

Reviewed on March 20, 2003

Vivid write ..well penned J & J

Reviewed by Sandie May Joyce (Sandie Angel)

Erica:

This is most intense write I've ever read you. I hate it when the professionals think what they're doing and put the blame on the innocence and drug them to get what they want. Money, money and more money!

Everyone needs time to grieve. There's no such thing as "not worth it".

If one needs to cry and grieve for another,
just let this person take the time to cry.

It's okay to cry and it's okay to feel bad,
The most frustrating thing is for someone
to come along and think that we shouldn't and try to stop us from doing so. Just like everything else in life, our emotion also needs its time to express and heal on its own.

You are very fortunate that you were sent an angel, who knew just how you felt at the time. God bless you!

Sandie Angel :o)

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Erica, very well written. Happy for you and to know you. Thanks for sharing your story.

Reviewed by Tony Nerone (Reader)

Dear Erica, Your doing quite nicely now.:)
I think so, and you do too.

tony

Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy

Reviewed on March 19, 2003

Why is it that the people who do us the most harm are the one who always say, "this is for your own good?" Glad you made it out of the Academy and Eau Claire.

Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK

3-19-03

Most Interestingly So! My Mother Even . 5 years old Always said To Me___

There's a Method To Your Madness You Little Bastard!!

TRASK

Reviewed by jude forese

very deep, intense and moving... in this coold world, there is someone out there who can hear our voice...

Reviewed by Nancy D.

Deep and very open, well done.

Nancy

Reviewed by E T Waldron

I know part of this I read...I'm so thankful for your Dorothy... and the way you have overcome your trials. Wonderful example. uplifting!

Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)

Erica ,
The depth is so deep and the feel
in the end one of peace. FINALLY!
excellent Peggy