A poem reflecting loss of self

Missing Person

How did I go missing
for so damn long
without filing
a missing persons report?
Did I NOT know
that I was gone?
Did I not realize
the I which I had become
was the me
that I would despise?
Did I not notice
that the me who became her
just for them
would never be happy
living in the shadows?

Well, I miss ME
and I’m angry with them!
But wait…….
nobody stole me;
I gave me away!
Bit by bit, a little each day
until 20 years later,
I had nothing left.

No dollars, no cents,
just a pocketful of change.
So much change
that I didn’t recognize
my own tear-stained face
staring back at me
in the bathroom mirror!

So today, I’m going
to the station
to file that report,
look through all of their boxes
of lost and found,
broke-down,
unclaimed,
neglected,
somebody-just-walked-off-and-left
stuff that they thought nobody wanted
or would ever come back for.

I’m gonna’ rummage
through every damn box
piece-by-piece
and see if I recognize
anything that USED to be mine-
‘cause I KNOW it’s all in there
way down in the bottom of some box:
My laugh,
my kind heart,
my confidence,
my strength,
my joy,
my capacity for love
AND……my-SELF!
And when I find it,
trust me, I’m taking it back!
‘cause after all,
it IS mine
and at the end of the day,
I still own me……Right?