I must accept the fact that .............

i jumped in and went down deep, not looking up to see if you followed behind.

i ran over and hugged you and got lost in my embrace not feeling your arms around me but was just happy to hug .

i felt my heart skip a beat and felt  yours must be skipping  beats as well. i am ashame to say, i got lost in loving you, i didnt look to see if you were loving me back.

like a starving animal thrown a bone, i ate and did not look up to see if you had your fill along with me.

i saw it coming but i looked away, hoping to fix it before it was too late. i tried looking through your eyes but i remain confused. why was i even here for the moment? what was my purpose with you? did you even need me, loved me? i am not sure about anything anymore.

I am numb except for those short moments when i allow my heart to bleed.Did he love me, did he really see me and if he did why was it so easy to walk away.?

i am tired and weak, drained, bruised, lonely, hungry for something so rare. So hard to find, to hold on to .

i entertained you. A lab experiment to see how far and deep i would go for you because i loved you.I started loosing me trying to gain you.

if and when  i get clarity, then what? i still lost you.