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Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

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MATLACK MASHER
by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com → (All Poetry by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com)
   Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Tried to insert a pic in body of text, but AD doesn't do it.

PIC ... BEST CUSTOMER CAUSE ...
HE HAS BIGGEST STOOLS!


Poem Artwork



MATLACK MASHER

© - Tom Hyland - 6/15/11

AIN’T THIS A FACE THAT -
ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE?


Reviewed by Tom Hyland
6/15/2011

MY DEAR JERSEY DEVIL, KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT ...

1. NICE PIC OF ME - THAT WAS THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME I WORE THE YEAR I DRESSED UP AS 'THE JERSEY DEVIL FAIRY'.

2. MY FRIEND, DICK KING, WAS TOO KIND IN SUGGESTING THAT THE PULLEY WAS BECAUSE OF 'HEAVY LIFTING' - I WISH T'WAS TRUE! HOWEVER, THE REAL REASON FOR ITS USE IS TO LIFT MY VERY BIG 'BRASS BALLS'!

3. AS PEEWEE ED INDICATED, YER MA IS GONNA BE REALLY 'PISSED' FOR YOUR ARROGANCE TO YER ELDER, WISER, SUPERIORS!

4. AT PAT'S NEXT REUNION, YEW CAN USE YER VAST SUPPLY OF 'DEPENDS' TO 'WIPE MY CAN' FOR ME, WHEN I GO TO HIS NEW '4 SEATER CAN'!

5. RE MY 'BOOBS' - I CHALLENGE EWE TO A 'WET T-SHIRT' CONTEST - AT SAID REUNION ... WHILE I MAY BE A MERE 'A' CUP SIZE - YEW ARE PROBABLY A 'DOUBLE D' !!!

6. MY 'QUILL PEN' WORKS FINE, AND WITH GENUINE 'INDIA INK' - WHILE YER SICK PLUME IS FILLED WITH PISS N' VINEGAR, N' VICTIMIZING, VICIOUS 'LIES'!

7. THE LAST TIME EWE WUZ FULLY N' TOTALLY 'HONEST' - WUZ WHEN YEW FESSED UP TO 'WHACKIN' YER DOODLE' TOO MUCH, CAUSING TEMPORARY BLINDNESS!

8. I CAN'T 'MAKE PICTURES' ON MY PUTER?
WAIT'LL I TAKE TIME TO NOW DO SO!

P.S. - I'M STILL PURTIER THAN YEW ANYWAYS!

SIR CUR REPROBATE - AKA LORD BAWLMER -
AKA 'DIP-STICK' - AKA TOM-KAT ...

AKA 'MATLACK MASHER' ... :) :) :) (0) (0) (0) ...


 

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 Reviews of "MATLACK MASHER"
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
Reviewed on June 22, 2011
I always note the pitchers on th' girly novels of the long haired stud with his shirt off and humungous pecs bending over some gal who looks lahk she hain't had a cogent thot since poobertie. Th'moral is I always suspicions a guy whose man boobs are bigger than his woman's girly boobs!

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on June 18, 2011
I guess that's what friends are for. Thanks for sharing, Tom. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on June 17, 2011
No need for wiping. I've almost cleared the permits for bidets! Patrick

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on June 16, 2011
$*!*$

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on June 16, 2011
Yes paybacks are a bitch, and you paid me back ten fold & I enjoyed this more than writing about you & I am sure I will enjoy reading the reviews too...Jerseeeeeeeeeeeey

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on June 16, 2011
"AT PAT'S NEXT REUNION, YEW CAN USE YER VAST SUPPLY OF 'DEPENDS' TO 'WIPE MY CAN' FOR ME, WHEN I GO TO HIS NEW '4 SEATER CAN'!"



WOW! Now that's demonstrating the old Ed Family Spirit! We're expecting a mighty big crowd at the Ed Family Labor Day Outhouse Reunion, and Cousin Pat is buildin an 8-Seater by the way, not 4. A service like that would come in real handy!



I nominate Jersey Devil Ed to be 'The Official Ed Family Handyman' at the next family reunion. He could even have an 'Official Stool Pigeon Perch' as he patiently waits for someone to yell out "Ready For My Wipe!"

PS: I vote a big 'NO' on that Wet Tee Shirt Contest idea between you and him - YUCK! How 'bout a Cow Chip Flip Contest instead, or even a Depends Origami Competition?






Reviewed on June 15, 2011


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