“Never in the history of mankind,

Have so many women owed so much,

To one Never Butt...”

               AD Author Andy James Turner

 I have a small confession to make,

And I thought I’d get it over with.

I was somewhat envious of Dr. Never’s photo,

And how it seemed to bring so many women bliss.

So I thought that I would share,

My latest manly full moon shot.

But my wife can’t stop laughing,

Alas, an ego booster – she is not.

I figured that on a scale of one to ten,

My photo would at least get a five.

But she said the score she would give is,

“Thank God, you’re still alive.”

But as you can very plainly see,

I have one thing to be thankful for.

My hearing is still almost perfect.

Now shouldn’t that count in my score?

And what about my manly tan?

And I got a chic new haircut…

Shined my shoes, too…

Been walking the dogs a lot…

Changed my underwear yesterday…

And, I can carry a 25-lb bag of Kitty Litter,

All by myself.

Look, I can still bend down,

And touch my toes…

Gosh darn it anyway.

Listen Here!

Every man wants to be a macho man
To have the kind of body always in demand

Walkin in the morning,

Go man go
Slowly work up to the hill top,

Stop, Sweat, Breathe

Bend Over,

Scoop up that Doggie Doo

Hey! I did it!

I’m still alive!

Takin out the trash,

Go man go

Lift that garbage can

Stop, Sweat, Breathe

Hey! I’m still alive!

Pushin that grocery cart,

Go man go

Lift that giant pumpkin

Stop, Sweat, Breathe

Hey!  I’m still alive!

“No thanks, young feller,

Don’t need any help out to the car,

With my groceries!”

Hey!  I made it!

You can best believe

I’m a Macho Man

 Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey!

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man

I gotta be a macho
Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho
Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man
Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho
I gotta be a macho man
I gotta be a mucho mucho,

Macho macho man

I gotta be!

Ouch…

Man, am I winded…

My back hurts like hell…

I better sit down…

And where the heck,

Did I put my bi-focals?

©2004, Eddie ‘Macho’ Kostro