“The man’s not stupid;

He’s possessed by a retarded ghost.”

Anonymous

It was once again

That time of year

The time I love

The time she fears

Our annual Halloween Party

What a truly festive time

I absolutely adore it

She abhors it like slime

Our entire neighborhood

Dons their wacky costumes

The men reek of cheap cigars

The women of too much perfume

We all meet outside at midnight

To dance the Monster Mash

She can’t wait until it’s over

I think it’s a Bloody Smash

Last year I somehow convinced her

That we should attend as Mummies

She truly could have cared less

Since she had a nasty upset tummy

As I gaily spun us into

Our Mummy costumes

Our many pets soon

Converged on the room

I handed my two dogs the sticky tape

And they raced around us faster and faster

I was having a bloody marvelous time

She knew it would be a diabolical disaster

By the time our pets were done

We had been truly stuck together

We were now two mummified spirits

Two pasted together birds of a feather

The fact she couldn’t go to the bathroom

Probably added to her absolute misery

The fact that I howled about it

Did not fill her heart with glee

It took us over two hours

To get completely unstuck

I was still laughing my sticky butt off

As I was banished for the night to my truck

This year I have joyously proposed

That we attend as two Giant Moles

Her response completely shocked me

“You, Mister, are a complete A.. Hole!”

Monstrously Chilling, to Say the Least…

©2005, Eddie ‘Loves His Mummy’ Kostro