“What kind of ogre am I?

What do I know of life?

Why can't I cast away these cookies,

And just start living my life?

Why can't I just stop eating them,

Till I just don't give a damn?

And maybe then, I’d finally know,

What kind of ogre I really am.”

From An Old Ogre’s Song

.

I was lost in my Cookie-Ogre War thoughts

Deep in the black bowels of my old ogre cave

When that dreadfully cheery Postman arrived

With a package that he said I would truly crave

As I held this heavy bundle in my hairy arms

I sniffed a very heavenly aroma from deep within

I now drooled feverishly and excitedly tore it open

We Cookie Ogres ‘on the scent’ cannot hide our sin

And what should this ravenous Cookie Ogre find

But an autographed picture of A Pax herself inside

With dozens of scrumptious freshly baked cookies

I was now tempted to put away my foolish ogre’s pride

There was also a very lovely note inside the huge box

That proclaimed Queen A Pax now finally wanted a truce

And just as I was about to devour this lovely peace offering

After all these dreadful years of war - I suddenly felt - Foot Loose

As I soon merrily danced all around my cave savoring the moment

My cavernous hungry ogre’s mouth now severely drenched in drool

I instinctively began forcing myself out of my sheer and utter ecstasy

I somehow sensed more sinister treachery – this old ogre ain’t no fool

I dropped that box of poisonous cookies on the filthy cavern floor

And watched in horror as my new pet ate a cookie crumb and died

My heart was once again shattered - I had loved my little Spiderilla

And oh how this wretched old drooling Cookie Ogre now sadly cried

Yet More Treachery from this truly Evil Queen

Yet More Misery for this Wretched Cookie Ogre

As I buried my sweet Spiderilla near the old swamp

I knew in my heart that this war would never be over

Sleep Sweetly My Sweet Sweet Tiny Spiderilla

I shall bring you fresh flowers each and every day

And I your distraught Cookie Ogre Now Vow to Avenge You

For Your Untimely Death – This Very Wicked A Pax Will Pay

What kind of fool am I?

What do I know of life?

Why can't I cast away this Cookie War,

And once again start living my life?

Why can't I just stop writing these,

Till I just don't give a damn????

And maybe then,

Perhaps only then,

I’d finally know,

What kind of fool I really am…

©2006, A Very Teary-Eyed Ogre Ed