Yet Another Extremely Heartbreaking Chapter

In the Never Ending A Pax – Ogre Cookie War

“Ed farted and he belched goodbye,

His pockets filled with more (cookies);

He'd rather feed his sweet tooth,

Then humor his amor.”

From An Extremely Bitter Poem by Queen A Pax,

Entitled: Good Queen A Pax, The Early Years

There’s been a recent rash of cookie robberies

They haven’t caught the very cunning robbers yet

Crates of cookies all around the globe now missing

And of course they’re rounding up the usual suspects

But I think it’s been extremely unfair of them

To concentrate their investigations solely on me

Just because an innocent old cookie ogre like myself

Once rejected love for the luscious allure of a cookie

If they would only listen to my very sad story

About a new group called The Cookie Advocates

It’s run by a very devilish woman known as A Pax

A bitter scorned queen who plots against me with zest

They say that a lass rejected by a handsome beau

(Check Out My Picture in Her Poem If You Don’t Believe Me)

Often becomes extremely bitter and one’s life long adversary

My penchant for a life of freedom passionately eating cookies

Has truly made this particular female very vengeful and contrary

This revenge-filled queen who calls herself A Pax

Is waging a most unjust and vile smear campaign

Enlisting the help of some very unsavory characters

In her efforts to bring me to absolute ruin and shame

She has already hired several ‘no gooders’

Including a fiendish old pirate from Jersey

(Check Out His Picture Above, He’s Wearing an A Pax Hat)

He’ll do absolutely anything if the price is right

Including stealing cookies and dumping them at sea

So my desperate plea to the good folks everywhere

Is don’t listen to anything the evil A Pax has to say

She has vengefully decided to ruin my innocent life

And she just might decide - to come after you one day

Alas how could I have known in my youth

That a young woman’s life-long crush on me

(Go Ahead, Check Out My Picture Again on Her Poem)

Would bring such agony and pain and humiliation

To a once care free cookie ogre - only yearning to be free

And I once thought this old pirate and I were blood brothers

How it pained me to learn he’d been recruited by the ‘other side’

I just learned of it the other day through the Old Ogre’s Grapevine

Oh how this betrayed cookie lover once more cried and cried and cried

(Old Peg Legged Matlack even dragged his faithful dog Rufuz into this)

(That’s Good Old Rufuz on the Far Right in the Picture Above)

(He’s Currently Being Held in the Dungeon

On a Trumped Up Charge – of Cat Burglary;

A Pax’s doing, I’d bet, to make sure the old pirate cooperates)

(Even my nine hellish hounds feel sorry for him)

They Also Say that Revenge

Is a Dish Best Served Up Cold

Queenie Has Gone One Step Further

She’s Very Fiendishly Added Mold

Moldy Cookies That Is

And a Very Moldy Old Pirate

(In Case I haven’t Mentioned It,

That’s His Picture Above,

With the A Pax Hat On His Moldy Head)

And In Case Anyone Is Wondering,

They Brought Queenie Up From the Dungeon

For This Lineup of the Usual Cookie Suspects

(That’s her with the Crown and the Nasty Smirk in the above picture)

(Alas, even the ‘good’ queen has changed quite a bit over the years)

And Like the Old Imprisoned Wizards and Witches,

Her Wicked, Flour-Filled, Conniving Fingers,

Reach Far Beyond Those Dark Dungeon Walls

And By the Way,

She’s Also Being Held For Questioning

Concerning the Recent Mysterious Disappearance

Of World Renowned Sailor and Cookie Connoisseur,

Sir Bergman Chiselpecks

(And it wouldn’t surprise me at all,

If that moldy old pirate pictured above

Had something to do with that as well.)

Please Don’t Join Queen A Pax’s Cookie Advocate Conspiracy

Please Don’t Become Wicked like This Old Pirate from Jersey

Please Don’t Help Persecute an Innocent Ogre Now Growing Old

Please Don’t Make a Pact with A Pax – You Must Save Your Souls

Thanks Everyone, and God Bless You One and All

(Except Peg Leg – That Moldy Old Seafaring Rat)

©2006, Still Innocent and Still Just Yearning to be Free Ogre Ed,

I Think I’ll Grab Some Cookies and Milk and Ponder Life’s Injustices in Bed

And I Truly Wonder What’s Become of Sir Bergman Chiselpecks

He Was Her Other Young Beau Who Also Truly Longed to Be Free

The Last I Heard From old Bergie He Was Still Circumventing the Globe

On His Very Passionate Life-Long  Quest - To Discover  - ‘The Perfect Cookie’

 “There Are Always Two Sides To Every Fairy Tale”

An Ancient Ogre Proverb

And Now, Back to Queenie Down in the Dungeon…

(She’s probably even got old Rufuz baking venomous cookie decoys down there by now)

(And Please Check Out My Picture Again in Her Poem – Can You Blame Her?)