I guess I should have somehow realized

When I woke up from my night’s snooze

That this particularly dark and dreary mornin

Would bring those god-awful muddy sofa blues

†

The mutts and I awoke to the sound of heavy rain

It would be yet another very rainy northwood mornin

As the very stern Mistress of the Manor left for the day

She looked me right in the eye and shouted out her warnin

“Mr. Ed, I’m telling ya, you best keep your pals inside today,

I don’t wanna see any mud at all in my clean house – OK?!”

“Yes, Dear…”

But a few hours after the Mistress went out

I saw the sheer sadness in their doggy eyes

So without thinkin too much more about it

Me and the mutts all eagerly rushed outside

And what a fine time we all now had

Splashin and racin around out in that rain

But when we finally headed back indoors

I finally realized I’d once again lost my brain

Of course our now three extremely pooped out canines

Limped back to the sofa for a well deserved doggy nap

And before long the white sofa had turned a muddy grey

As I surveyed the crime scene all I could say was, “Crap…”

The terrified mutts and I are now hidin out in the tool shed

We know the Mistress of the Manor will soon be on the prowl

The only thing that frightens us in this vast deep dark woodland

Are the Mistress’s mad bellows of rage when she begins to howl

I guess I should have somehow realized

When I woke up from my night’s snooze

That this particularly dark and dreary mornin

Would bring those god-awful muddy sofa blues

†2007, In the Doghouse Yet Again, Mr. Ed

(But I’m Really Gettin Used to It,

I Must Have Been a Dog in Another Life)

Our fourth canine good old Turbo was smart enough

To stay inside and out of the mud puddles and the rain

He’s by far the most intelligent critter around these parts

As for me and the other three – We Are Definitely Insane