“He Should Take This Crap Seriously!”
Our Dear Old Mother
Music:
The Poop Scoop Boogie
Mother always worries about her kids
She is happiest, when we are employed
She knows Brother Jersey wants to work
She says this job may be perfect, for her boy
“Pee Wee, Jersey Ed should start his own Scooping Business,
I just read about a guy, who is scooping up $50,000 a year!
You certainly know how all of your dogs, just love pooping!”
Dear old mother’s concern for my brother, made me shed a tear
“Why that’s a truly marvelous idea for Brother Jersey, Ma,
I think that you should call him and tell him all about this!”
Our dear old mother insisted that I relay her employment idea
The thought of Jersey owning such a business, fills her with bliss
So, here I am this morning, penning this poetic scoop, for my old brother
“Hey, Bro, you’d really look great in your official Pooper Scooper Outfit;
Put an Ad in your local paper, announcing the launch of your new business,
Get a Logo Hat, stock up on Pooper Scooper bags, get on out there, and try it!”
Being the good brother that I am, I did a little research about this growing business
Today, there are almost 500 animal waste removal companies, operating nationwide
Most of them charge about $20.00 for every visit that they make to a customer’s yard
And they say that anyone can make money doing it, if they ‘Pooper Scoop, With Pride’
A lot of working couples, who have both children and pets
Now want to utilize Scooping Services, offered in their town
As do more and more senior citizens, with beloved family dogs
Who can’t do any scooping, since they can no longer bend down
And, it’s too bad that my old Brother Jersey lives so far away,
With so many canines now, I could sure use some help, today!
©2011, His Multi-Mutt, Twice-A-Day, Poop Scoop Boogie Brother Pee Wee Ed
(Whose Spouse Refuses To Pay Him For All The Scoopin He Does Around Here)
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Anna
much enjoyed mr. ed!
carolyn
~Mr. Ed~
Your write was just Fun!!
Lady Vivian
Knave Matchless Matlack - 'Pooper Scooper Extraordinaire' - THE PLAN ...
1. Get some FREE plastic bags - Everybody and his brother saves them from their
trips for groceries. I can send a couple hundred, if needed.
2. Get ONE customer - set up schedule - Once or Twice per week - SCOOP!
Get Hand-Written Testimonial as to Great Service - Copy, Print, Distribute.
3. Canvass Neighborhoods, block by block. Sign up more Customers. SCOOP!
4. Delegate or Stagnate! As business grows, must Expand, just like the 'Mowing'
Services do. Hire Kids to do the Scooping - Multiply yourself. they do the
work, get paid a stipend, and yew Scoop the 'Cream' off the Top!
5. Think of this business like a 'Paper Route' - must be Dedicated, have 7-Day
Service - Plan for 'Rain-Dates' - 'Soft n 'Mushy' don't Scoop so good!
6. Once the Money is rolling in, Buy First 'Spot-A-Pot' - build Second service
business - 'Catering' (term used loosely) to Wealthier clients who have Big
'Cook-Outs' - 'BBQ's' - 'Garden Parties' - et cetera.
7. Buy Second 'Spot-A-Pot' - expand business - yer 'On yer Way' now.
8. Within one Year, will probably be able to Pay for Homemade TV ads -
That Cherubic Face - with that Wonderful Hat - and a Sub-Title ...
"THE REAL S**T HEAD" ...
P.S. Glad I could Help ... Yer Welcome! Cuz Sir Cur Sumo Tom 'El Gato' ...
Since you say you need 'start up' capitol, out of the goodness of my heart, I'm sending you a few pairs of Mean Tall Woman's Litter Box Cleaning Rubber Gloves, a huge box of used Poop Scoop Bags, and a big crate of extremely fresh dog poop that you can practice scooping up.
Watch for the Fed Ex truck tomorrow.
Blessings,
Christine
shoving food in one end and taking waste away at the other;
i'm not sure it's always true but there's something to be said for it.
Nice one, Ed!
John