I Never Imagined
I never imagined the cold silence that now fills my heart.
I never once dreamed that our dreams would end this way.
You promised you would never leave, yet now I am alone in the dark.
Oh I never ever imagined the utter emptiness of this day.
I Pray prayers to God that you would just come and fill my nights sleep.
I long once more feel the gentleness of your touch for my soul to keep.
I miss your laughter; your smiles; the very presence of you face.
I never imagined there would be a time that of your love I could not taste.
Gone are the mornings where we of or days dreams would share.
Gone are the phone calls that we would make just to show we care.
It is not just I who through the night and day does sorely grieve.
For even our little cat China searches high and low and only on your box of memories will he sleep.
Your life was my life to which I was totally devoted to you.
Your thoughts were my thoughts and now I have not a clue.
They say that I am normal to feel the emptiness this way.
They say that I’ll be OK; they say that once more there will be a better day.
Yet I never imagined having even a life without the beauty of you.
For I have never loved this deep; I have never in my heart felt so blue.
I still kiss you goodnight, I still with you say our nightly prayers.
I walk thought the silent house calling your name in the thin air.
Oh I never imagined….
J. Allen Wilson © 9/19/08
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Don't ever stop writing your feelings, for it IS a form of healing. Write everything and anything that you cherish. People who had not lost a loved one do not know the grieve that we had gone through.
I lost my Dad in 2004, and it was a good thing that I had written my grieves and feelings out so I didn't have to bottle them inside me.
Continue on your writings. Your feelings are raw and honest. You will feel much better after the healing.
Lots of love,
Sandie Angel
I can't imagine someone telling you to get over it after only 12 days. You'll never get over it; some part of you will always grieve. HOWEVER: it will get easier over time. These things can't be rushed; everyone grieves at their own pace, their own way.
All I can say: rest in the Lord's arms. He knows loss. He understands.
So do I. Not as He does, but my own. Been 18 years since Mom; May 28 when Daddy died. I miss them.
Excellent write - I can't imagine, but this comes as close as I'd want. I'm so sorry, once again.
(((HUGS))) love and prayer, Karla.
Some people told me in the weeks after I lost my Dad, earlier this year, that I needed to let it go. You can never fully let go of the pain from losing a parent, child, or, in your case, spouse. Over time, the pain lessens --- time does heal --- but 12 days is not enough time to hardly comprehend what has happened. I counted Sundays for weeks (and still do, sometimes), since Dad died on a Sunday.
You're in my thoughts and prayers. In fact, I just now posted a poem I wrote for you and in Leah's memory. I had to evacuate for Ike and came home to major damage; trying to restore a semblance of normal, post-hurricane, has been a little trying. I hope my poem brings you comfort.
All the best,
Jill
I can feel your pain and heartache in each word, my friend. NO one can be over what you have been through in 12 days! No one! Time will slowly ease your pain but deep in your heart you will never get over losing your Leah. You'll learn to cope, to function, hour by hour, day by day, but she'll ALWAYS be there, right in your heart.
Many blessings and prayers,
~Linda
Fee
As I read this I can feel your heart tremble so with sadness, the loss of your soulmate, your world, my heart breaks for you, I have you and your family in a prayer circle, May you know many think about you, Peace always Valerie
In Christs Love
Michelle~