Remote Madness;

By J. Allen Wilson

Belton, SC.

"Come on, give me the remote. You've had it long enough," Janice said to Larry. The wind was blowing cold outside, and they'd decided to spend the evening lying on the couch and watching television.

"We've been through this already," Larry said as he shot her a smug look. "Men have hunting instincts that make them better remote control handlers. You might mess something up if I let you have the remote."

Janice leaned back into the couch, frowned and thought mean thoughts about her husband as he flipped and flipped through the channels.

He kept zipping through all the programs at a pace too fast to tell what was on, Janice thought. The wind blew a branch against the window, catching Larry's attention.

Janice quickly leaped over and snatched the remote. "I'll show you," she shouted with a laugh.

She pointed the device at Larry and pushed a button, but stopped laughing very quickly when…She realized what had happened. Though Larry could be snooty sometimes and quite cocky in his male sort of way, she still loved him and would never wish him any harm. She now stood frozen; unable to move; to scream or even cry. The remote felt hot in her hand as she starred wide eyed at the quivering jell like mass on the floor that was once her husband. She could hear what she thought were cries for help coming from whatever that was on the floor in front of her. “Janice… oh Janice…help me, it gurgled”.

Regaining her composure somewhat through instinct Janice franticly started pushing the buttons on the remote hoping to undo what she had done. “Larry she screamed, Larry, please tell me what to do; please, I did not mean this to happen…I love you honey…I love you”.

The gurgling, blubbering mass that lay before her suddenly stopped moving. The glass from the window then shattered sending silver shards sailing across the room. The remote that Janice held in her hand began to glow red hot and she dropped it quickly to the floor. The branch that had shattered the living room window tossed furiously in the wind and Janice could smell the foul, putrid stench of sulfur permeating the room.

She looked back from the window to where Larry or what used to be Larry now lay and she fell to her knees in repentance. She covered her face and cried out to God… Oh God, I never meant Larry any harm, honest I didn’t. It’s just that he was so cocky and mean… that sometimes  I would think ill toward him, please dear God…I take it all back, I take it all back”.

Janice continued sobbing uncontrollably when she noticed the smell of sulfur getting stronger and stronger. She heard a scratching noise and removed her hands from her swollen eyes. The branch that had broken the window now extended its wooden tentacles into the living room and was scraping the now hardened remains of Larry from the floor. Janice screamed until her ears popped and the light in her eyes grew dim. When she awakened the bright morning sunlight was streaming through the broken window. Shards of glass surrounded her and the glint of one large piece caught her eye. Tormented by what she had done, Janice reached for a large jagged piece of glass and lifted it up to her throat. She was just unable to go on with the memory of the night before. She could feel the coldness of the glass against her flesh and…

“Janice….JANICE, Larry shouted…are you coming to bed or am I going to have to go on without you? Oh, and by the way, tomorrow night it’s my turn to pick out what we watch on TV…now come on to bed.”

Janice opened her eyes and saw Larry standing in his boxers with a grimace on his face. She smiled, handing him the remote and said here Larry I won’t  need this anymore.

J. Allen Wilson  © BFLD