"PICK UP YOUR CROSS:"

 FOLLOW ME.

 Why is it that with all the things,

 my heart

has endured,

that your love not received,

makes me so unassured.

 empty and hollow;

 rejected and sad,

 unable to focus,

to even.

 be mad.

An emotion I vowed He already had.

 Had in forgiveness, not

 in my new heart,

and my words , get back at,

an action apart,

 apart from the man that you

usually see,

it's just plain sad, that, that,

still dwells in me.

 So all I can do is what I do best,

cause my nature continually

 gets in the way.

I'll fall my face, one more time

 and, beg your forgiveness today.

For although I might, see myself,

as the one,

 who would, and possibly, should,

 be forgiving you.

But then you just can't quite,

seem to ask

me to.

.

 The message your sending, it's loud

and getting real clear;

is that your love for God 

is only part real,

or you wouldn't allow

the feelings you feel.

The anger, resentment, the closed

 point of view,

your inability to let,

 His love, shine

 through,

 your not responding to His

sweet commands,

(Eph5:23, 1Pet3:36, Eph5:25 &5:23)

  But mocking and telling me I'm in some cult's hands.

I see now what, He's been tryin

 to tell me,

that although you seek Him,

and go to church too,

 there's still way too much

of self,

 in you,

 to allow His, transformation to

 really take place,

 a new heart, and new ways

of viewing this place.

So while in your self-centered

point of view,

I’m nothing but a reminder, that to Him your not true ,

 and there’s no future for you

and for me,

 cause outside His grace,

I choose not to be.

 The lack of being in any's control,

that you've stated real loud

 and clear.

 It makes you subject, to your own

wisdom and mind,

 and always there, will you,

 continue to go.

To think that you've given Him, 

all of yourself,

 much less given anything

of Him

to me,

is to live in denial,

and not really know what it’s like,

in Him, to be free.

The fact, is darlin, even so,

you won't, and don't, really see,

  You’re a long way from accepting

His life changing call. 

To really know Him, Love Him, and

give Him:

 your all.

for then you must, make,

 His Living Word, your:

 bottom line.

 or from His grace, you'd know,

 you'd fall.

Your not past your need, to be in, control,

of your heart, 

your mind,

and of your 

soul.

If you think you can do it

better than He,

then a seeker not finder

you'll continue,

 to be.