Sitting inside the clinic all the usual anxieties raise their ugly heads I’m not there with illness but with sadness instead

What right to take that which isn’t yours. Something so intimate and innocent an evil act that you might walk away from but with repurcussions that might annihilate…annihilate strange word, to make nothing? Take away with extreme prejudice because you could without any thought for the innocence that you have so nearly destroyed

You’ve sown hurt and heartache into good soil evil intent sent to wreck ruin and destroy but some people are too good and innocent to spoil to ready to set their minds on the future, not be victimised by past events

I’m trying not to read the poster’s…a woman comes in with a talkative daughter, too talkative, traumatised, actually quite pretty violated like my own otherwise why would she be here. When the girl goes inside Mum and I exchange a few jokey lines; thin ghost smiles on our anxious faces barely covering the hurt that lies not so very deep inside

Quite a few of the Nurses and Counsellor’s are pretty too but I try not to look I’m the enemy within, but probably only within my own head…that depends. They’re mostly decent people I try a whimsical remark on one young woman who stops to take water for her and her friends from the dispenser on my left; it seems to fit and she walks away laughing balancing three filled cups in slender hands

Two more victims turn up (Mum and Daughter) I give up my seat and move to the corner, sympathy mixed with resentment seems to me the cocktail of the day.

I had to come but I hadn’t thought this through; I sit and ponder and wait an interminable age my poor Fathers heart filled with impotent rage: An unholy anger that smoulders inside a bloodthirsty demon that must be denied; or so I’m told by insensitive friends do I take their advice…I suppose that depends.

“Let your gentleness be evident to all” (The Bible/ my take on life). 

 

Artwork by Daibhidh MacAdhaimh