This went in a completely different track than what I wanted it to. I was going to write about the Monster of Pain, but this is what came out.
Monsters come in many forms. I know--I used to drink, I still smoke cigarettes. I know the Monster of Addiction.
Please pray for me. I've been a total bitch to Karen because my damn pinched nerve is acting up again. I can't sleep. Nothing helps. NOTHING. I can't afford to go to the doctor, I already owe a hospital bill I can't pay. (No insurance.) I don't mean to yell at Karen, I just can't seem to make her understand. And I don't mean to whine at y'all...you've been more than supportive, but I'm going crazy!! Please, please pray for both of us...
Thank you. :(
The monster is back. Can't you see it sitting there Perched on my shoulder?
Patiently waiting For a moment of weakness (It's been here before).
Given permission, It moves in with lightning speed And regains control.
It stares back at me When I look in the mirror. Its eyes are my eyes.
Its pain is my pain. I understand its feelings. It understands mine.
(C) Copy written, 21 January, 2005, by Karla Dorman.
Pain certainly has a strange effect on our moods, trust me when I say that I understand, and empathize. May you soon find comfort and relief. Eloquent write Karla. God bless and be well.
I wish I could take away the pain from you; you don't deserve to suffer so needlessly! I also wish I could help pay the bills or pay your hospital bills; but I can't, and it is very frustrating. If I could, believe you me, I would do it in a nanosecond!! I am not mad at you, and I do forgive you for the anger you directed at me yesterday. I wish I could be in your shoes (maybe I don't!), but maybe it would give me a new perspective on just what you are dealing with and knowing that you want relief; yet you can't get it. I am so sorry you are having to endure this hell; I wish I could be more of a support system to you; but it is hard when you are frustrated or tired...do know this, dear sister of mine: you are always in my prayers and thoughts, and I hope that you find the relief you so desperately seek soon! In the meantime, think of your upcoming cruise and the fun you are going to have; and think that you may eventually get some needed relief beforehand! Now put a smile on that face of yours, and try to think of the joy you have brought many people with your talent (especially to me!); you have many people who care for you and love you, and when you hurt, we ALL hurt!! God be with you during this hard, painful time in your life, and may He put a Healing Touch upon your body!
I'm sure Karen being your Twink knows full well the power of 'the monster' and I truly hope he leaves you alone very very soon, Karla.
When I suffered from a pinched nerve, that monster was truly vicious. Our thoughts and prayers are truly with you.
Karla, I've been in both your shoes and Karen's. At times I still am. When my neck injury bothers me, to the point that I think I just can't stand it another moment, that's when I regress back into myself, doing my best not to lash out. Sometimes though, I still do, and in thoughtless words, I hurt the very one that would give me his life if he thought it would do any good.
Then when his back is twirling him, like a baton, it is I that catches his tongue lashings. Though at those particular moments, we may flare our tempers and mouths, in the end we know that we love each other.
When the pain subsides, we make up, and all is right with the world..that is until the next time..then it all starts over again.
Karen knows you love her...you know Karen loves you...
It's the pain that nobody loves.
sorry that you are feeling the way you are, it has got to be helpout there for you to help with the hospital bills, and i guess over-the counter drugs aren't working, i am sure your sister knows and will be patient with you~~~just make sure every now and then you give her a hug or a loving tug...you have my prayers
get well
put those smokes down
try and try again
much love
Karla I will pray for the pain to go away and for you to quit smoking, I myself can't even stand to be around the smell of cigrattes ewww!
God Bless
Michelle!
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on January 21, 2005
Pain and no fags, you are in a bad way, pray the pain goes, and you kick the smoking fags..
I've had a constant migraine headache for the last few days that's been driving me nuts too. Can't sleep, hurts to do ANYTHING. Miserable, miserable, miserable. I think I'm coming down with my daughter's strep throat. I feel grouchy and achy...ew. Karla I just said a prayer for you, poor dear. I feel so sorry for you and your pain. No fun. And I said a prayer for Karen as well. (Have you ever tried acupuncture? It's supposed to have lasting effects, and costs very little if you go to a school where they have students practicing the procedures...the girl that does my hair does that for her carpel tunnel syndrome, and only goes about every 6 months. The treatments work really great for her. And she goes to a school where it's inexpensive...) This is a good write. Boy do I feel your pain coming through every word. Hope you get some pain free rest soon. Much love, Michelle
Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on January 21, 2005
Pain can be difficult, and we all fall prey to it from time to time. I am sure Karen understands and will forgive you for whatever has been said. Its also winter. Emotions get higher at this time.
Karla, So sorry you are in pain again. I send healing vibes and prayers your way. I'm hoping that nerve knows you won't let it get the best of you and soon will release it's hold!...These are fantastic
Senryu, thanks for sharing. Stay strong!!!
Love Eileen
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on January 21, 2005
I can relate too because mine acted up on me Saturaday and if my hubby had not built hand rails I would be either in the graveyard or in the hospital. But sometimes I get real evil when the nerve acts up. So I just stay out of people's way.
Can relate to this. Me, being Karen. No matter how much I try, I will never know all the pain my wife has been in from her accident. I also know, that when she does snap at me, its not her, its the monster. This will be the first poem I'll save at AD, and show it to my wife, when the time is right. Very well done...
I think it is difficult, sometimes, to show how much we care when we are feeling so helpless in making someone feel better. It is a painful situation for both. I hope you feel better soon. I broke my back once, so I understand what you are going through, fortunately, I rarely have any problems related to my injury...I am very lucky, not many can say the same.
Take care,
Sherry
i'm so sorry for your pain and i believe karen understands why you yell....sometimes its good to have someone there...even if its only to yell at when things build up too much
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Pain certainly has a strange effect on our moods, trust me when I say that I understand, and empathize. May you soon find comfort and relief. Eloquent write Karla. God bless and be well.
warm hugs and love
Elga your friend in SA
I wish I could take away the pain from you; you don't deserve to suffer so needlessly! I also wish I could help pay the bills or pay your hospital bills; but I can't, and it is very frustrating. If I could, believe you me, I would do it in a nanosecond!! I am not mad at you, and I do forgive you for the anger you directed at me yesterday. I wish I could be in your shoes (maybe I don't!), but maybe it would give me a new perspective on just what you are dealing with and knowing that you want relief; yet you can't get it. I am so sorry you are having to endure this hell; I wish I could be more of a support system to you; but it is hard when you are frustrated or tired...do know this, dear sister of mine: you are always in my prayers and thoughts, and I hope that you find the relief you so desperately seek soon! In the meantime, think of your upcoming cruise and the fun you are going to have; and think that you may eventually get some needed relief beforehand! Now put a smile on that face of yours, and try to think of the joy you have brought many people with your talent (especially to me!); you have many people who care for you and love you, and when you hurt, we ALL hurt!! God be with you during this hard, painful time in your life, and may He put a Healing Touch upon your body!
I love you with all my heart and soul!
As always, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears <
When I suffered from a pinched nerve, that monster was truly vicious. Our thoughts and prayers are truly with you.
Then when his back is twirling him, like a baton, it is I that catches his tongue lashings. Though at those particular moments, we may flare our tempers and mouths, in the end we know that we love each other.
When the pain subsides, we make up, and all is right with the world..that is until the next time..then it all starts over again.
Karen knows you love her...you know Karen loves you...
It's the pain that nobody loves.
Lisa
Love Tinka
get well
put those smokes down
try and try again
much love
God Bless
Michelle!
Sandie Angel a.k.a. Sandie May Angel :o(
Senryu, thanks for sharing. Stay strong!!!
Love Eileen
Erin
Take care,
Sherry
I think the image says it all - powerfully written, emotive Senryu ... excellent work my friend!!
Blessings,
Robert