Back home from a three hour cruise,

Kermit got drunk on a belly-full of booze,

What transpired was too shameful to remember,

When he invited Piggy on a date she couldn't refuse! 

When he took her out to groove,

Kermit felt he had really nothing to lose,

Piggy carried a make-up bag so big and heavy,

That any conspiracy planned was difficult to prove!

Piggy then gave Kermit a big kiss,

He had given no thought to any of this,

Her smack of lipstick left a smear on his face,

After she thought all night of this moment of bliss!

The paparazzi's boat saw it all,

Snapping pictures, they began to call,

Finally she relented and said, "I love you all too,"

They clapped, so she tried to stand and to not fall!

When she stood up to take a bow,

Her painted hooves got caught in the bow,

Piggy's boat threatened to rock and tip over,

See-sawing like a swine-sized oceanic hog's trough!

We yelled and jumped up in fear,

But thinking back, no one ever shed a tear,

When that blond porcine beast fell overboard,

In a splash! Almost capsizing us in her wave's shear!

Sea-biscuits, links and a bacon slab,

That what the sharks thought they had,

When Miss Piggy fell into the deep blue sea,

She swam and swam, but in the end her end was bad!

The third time Piggy went under,

Crying angry sobs at her piggish blunder,

At having eaten all her slop in such a big rush,

That the sharks found her so tasty they tore her asunder!

In the horribleness of it all,

We shined a light and started a blog, 

There was no sight of the Muppet diva drowned,

Twas the last we ever saw of that frog-struck old hog!