17.02.2004 I live far away from most of my family, at times it gets very hard not seeing all of them very often at all. This one is for my babushka (russian for grandma). xxx PS Hope you can all relate to this...

Cuddled up in my nan's arms,
So soft her hands,
So soft her touch.

I get scared of not seeing my nan again,
A feeling that cannot be comforted by anything.

So far away live me and her,
Everytime I see her,
I want to smile, hug her and pretend
She'll be there forever...

Reality hits me, when I stand at the airport
And say my goodbye,
Before she disappears in the distance,
As I begin to cry.

So real the tears feel,
So hard to hold them back,
My nanna, babushka,
I love you always...

That time when we looked out into the sky,
A warm summer evening; you began to cry
Standing over you I kept myself strong,
My heart clenched
As I heard you talk about death, you said;
"I'm not scared to die. I'm scared of not seeing all of you again."

For a long time a lump was in my throat,
It was suffocating my heart with fear.
I hugged and asked you not to cry
I stayed strong, but later cried so much.

Those words you spoke, haunt me...
I love you and hope to see you again and again...

Cruelly life made this plan,
For us to live so far apart
But, I'll always keep a smile on my face,
No matter what happens,
I'll remember;
The hugs, the kisses, the telling of, the meals, the stories, the pancakes...
I'll remember it all.

I have so much to thank you for.