Walked over - I was doing her a favor

Thought I saw her wink, but soon

realized she was browless; was also

on the skinny-side.

Had nothing to lose - asked her out for

a drink - ordered two Zombies; sat for a

while; didn't dance - had no energy

She said nothing, but thought I heard

her say her name was Lucy.

Left the bar - asked her up to my place

After all I liked the silent type - undressed

Put the moves on - but she just laid there

Couldn't give me any lip - she had none

Didn't even get any tongue.

Tried to have sex, but I was the one who

got boned; then I thought, "Oh my God,

hope she isn't a minor;" then I checked

her purse - her driver's license read

3.2 million years old.

Then I asked her if could see her again

but she looked at me with a lifeless face

and said, "Sorry, I don't date younger men

Especially those who are 7,000 years old

The fossilized hag had carbon dated me!

'2008' RLS