Not Anymore…


Awash in a sea of memories,
Drowning silently,
I could raise my hand,
Ask you to save me,

But I don’t want to be saved.

Not anymore.

You ask if I think of you,
And I smile sadly,
Not anymore,
Not anymore.

I think of blue summer skies,
And the wild mustard swaying in the meadow,
The doe sipping from the sweet spring waters,
The jay calling her young babes to fly,

Not the clumsy bear crashing through the forest,
Rending trees with sharp claws,
Tearing the heart out of the land,
Roaring with impatience and hunger…

And I hear you asking again,
Do I remember those long winter nights,
When we huddled together to fight the cold,
And whispered secrets to keep the darkness away-

But my dreams are filled with moons and stars,
A silver path that leads into the night,
Lonely calls from the wolf,
And the scream of the eagle as it hunts,

I don’t remember you,
Not anymore…

The river runs its wild course,
Swelled by the melting snow,
Raging over rocks,
Destiny unknown it keeps its path open.

I stand before it,
Arms at my sides,
Feet moving blindly forward,
Step by step until I feel the icy cold,
Lapping at my feet

I grow numb as ice approaches my heart,
Rejoicing in the freedom of feeling nothing,
I think of blue summer skies,
And wild mustard,

Not of you,
Not of you,
Not anymore.