There's a new calculator you simply must buy
It predicts the very day you will die
For $14.98 it will give you a thrill
And tell you when to make out your Will.
It doesn't sing it doesn't dance
But it doesn't leave very much to chance
Just plug in your vitals one by one
It'll calculate when your time is done.
You've got to be brave you've got to be strong
'Cause this little baby is never wrong
How nice that some kid with time on his hands
Wants to reserve you a place in the Promised Land.
Three times 20 less four times four
Then take the square root of 64
Add in the difference of 10 minus five
Find out whether you're dead or alive.
Do you smoke a lot and just can't quit
Or drink more booze than you like to admit
Convert them to numbers and find out fast
Just how long your body will last.
Well I plugged in the numbers just yesterday
And here is what it had to say--
We're happy to report from our point of view
That you expired in 1982.
Ooh! It's Awesome!
....sitting in a public space with my iPad...laughing myself silly
and loud...good start to the weekend!...unable to drink my favourite
tea with lemon...think...nor answer the "whys"...just grooving.
on your verse...poem to die for...even if my own impulses overcome
my personal control....are...getting better of me...but hey!....life around people
with a sense of humour is too good to be true....yet...the alternative's so strange
that the life ...there...absolutely has to be real....
...the going "in the saddle" idiom got my full attention...leaving
the stage...and remaining in control of a destination...Happily ever
after...life...
Thank you Edward for sharing the fun.
I would say the prediction of your demise was a bit exaggerated! I knew it was coming when I read the byline telling me that I was dying to buy this product. The interesting thing is, it ain't far from the truth. But then, we are artists, and like Hemingway, we'll do it our way. Won't we?
I knew from the beginning that you would come up with such an ending!!!
As for me the only thing I count is the genes from both my parents side and my old man was on to everything and he lived on till ninety ...
And he used to laugh at those who popped off in their seventies in spite of playing goodie goodie!!JK
Ha! Technology eh.?? I actually heard the other day that there is a test that will tell you if you will die in the next five years...a poll showed that many people would like to know...horrifying to me...!
Loved this lighthearted piece ......
Book Four in Belinda Lawrence mystery series. Confirming the Professor was murdered proves to be a challenge and, gradually, as they get to know those associated with the Manor House, Belinda and Hazel discover another murder and an intricate web of
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kathy
Karen
....sitting in a public space with my iPad...laughing myself silly
and loud...good start to the weekend!...unable to drink my favourite
tea with lemon...think...nor answer the "whys"...just grooving.
on your verse...poem to die for...even if my own impulses overcome
my personal control....are...getting better of me...but hey!....life around people
with a sense of humour is too good to be true....yet...the alternative's so strange
that the life ...there...absolutely has to be real....
...the going "in the saddle" idiom got my full attention...leaving
the stage...and remaining in control of a destination...Happily ever
after...life...
Thank you Edward for sharing the fun.
Sandie
Ron
Anna
As for me the only thing I count is the genes from both my parents side and my old man was on to everything and he lived on till ninety ...
And he used to laugh at those who popped off in their seventies in spite of playing goodie goodie!!JK
Michael D.
Loved this lighthearted piece ......