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Blogs by Silvia Hartmann
Loving The Floor 10/31/2004 3:51:35 AM
It is true to say that if I left to my own devices, I have the ability to make the ordinary extraordinary.
I just had a mystical experience.
To fill in a little bit more of the history, about 25 years ago or so
I chose and paid for half of a house, a 1930s semi which just called
to me after having seen hundreds of other houses in the area.
When I got divorced, 6 years ago, ex-husband kept bugging about
selling up. He couldn't really force me as it was half mine but it
never felt like mine. Also, I didn't really feel like making major
improvements to the house as this would increase its value and make it
ever more difficult to find this huge chunk of money it would take to
pay him off.
Last year, I moved out and elsewhere, just to have "moved",
metaphysically speaking, and to learn something about myself.
Over that period, it transpired that it would be possible to raise the
cash to buy out ex, and this was done some months ago.
So now I'm back, and that's one of the reasons why the place is really
a ruin, or a squat, rather than a family home. The electrics are
lethal, the plumbing's not working, no toilets to speak of, no central
heating, and all of it in a horrendous mess.
The house has a conservatory/extension which I did build with some
cash left after my mother died; this cleaned me out completely at the
time and I was in really dire financial straights for a long time.
Back then, I bought the cheapest floor tiles in the universe - pack of
five for 99p and laid them great care as not to waste any.
Even then I knew they'd never stand up to wear and tear, now 6 years
later, they really didn't.
They're buckled, bits come off, scratched and burned in places and
when we got here yesterday, incredibly filthy.
So this morning, I decided to clean the floor.
Something happened, and I state shifted into this other form of being
where I made a connection to my poor frazzled past self who'd laid
these tiles so carefully, and really did what she could back then, and
instead of my usual moaning and groaning that things are not good
enough, I made a strange decision.
That I would fight for this poor floor, one tile at a time. One stain
at a time, one paintsplat at a time.
So I did. I've never cleaned a floor with more reverence or with more
intent, nor more lovingly.
Three passes with soapy water later, my back was aching but I was
possibly happier than I've ever had a recollection of being.
I made the decision to do a fourth pass, with clean hot water, and
then thought to add some Lemongrass essential oil, just a few drops.
I really don't know WHAT energy I put there into that floor, or how it
is going to affect the things that will happen here from now, but it
was most reverently done and more uplifting than eight Sundays sitting
in a church somewhere listening to someone else talking about God.
And now?
Now, the floor is as worn out as it always was.
But it is clean.
And beloved.
SFX
Sunday, October 31st
All Hallows Eve
United Kingdom
