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Blogs by Danielle Mundy
My writing lately 1/23/2005 11:00:13 AM
My writing these couple of weeks has been really dark, kind of scarey really. I guess I've just kept a lot bottled up inside of me lately. If any of you have read my poetry, you already know that I was in an abusive relationship that ended recently (back in May actually) but I put up with the abuse for seven years before I got up the courage to tell him to leave. The only thing good that came of our union is my three beautiful little angels, who I am now caring for on my own. Who am I kidding? I was raising them on my own before he ever left. I should be happy; I no longer live in fear of being hit or being made to feel like dirt below his feet. I am going back to nursing school, I am writing again ( and I can't even BEGIN to describe how wonderful that feels...I've written more here at the Den in the past few months than I have in the past five years!!), and I've got the best three kids a woman could ever ask for. I guess I'm just resentful of the fact that my ex got off so easy. He almost never comes over to see the girls, maybe one day a week or every other week, but for those few hours that he is here it's like he's the best thing outside of Harry Potter to them!!! Why is it that I'M the one who takes care of them when they're sick, I'M the one who sings them to sleep every night, I'M the one that they crawl into bed with when they have a nightmare but he just shows up and it's like "Mommy who?" I know that's selfish of me, but they just don't know what a bastard he really is.
He has a new baby that's due in March...if you do the math that means he got this girl pregnant only a month after we parted ways. And I don't know why that should bother me so much; I really shouldn't care. But it was like our children was the only thing that lasted out of our seven years, at least that was SOMETHING that was true...but now even that is tainted because he got some stranger pregnant and she's carrying my children's little brother inside of her, the baby boy he said I never deserved.
I'm going to stop this rant now...honestly I could go on all day and still not be close to done. But now that you have a little insight to my life, perhaps you'll understand my need to kill imaginary people in my writing instead of strangling my ex!!! LOL
