Terrible week at work.  I could be sympathetic, empathetic and honest and admit I'm lucky--I have a job.

But there are days when working sucks your sould out, and this is the third day in the week when I'm rethinking everything, including getting up in the morning.

A student I had a few short years ago--a fifth grader--has just had brain surgery.  For cancer.  Her cousin's in first grade now and says she'll be hospitalized for the forseeable future "so she can learn to talk and walk again."  Not a good way to start the week.

Classroom full of kids who do nothing but fight, bicker and tattle--not in the vein of all first graders, but in the vein of kids who have been handed everything but never taught respect.  Never taught to sit down and listen.  Several have required interventions that have ranged from reporting possible abuse cases to being verbally assaulted by belligerant parents because I expressed concern.  Over THEIR children--someone has to care.

Heard from someone I trust that when I pointed out someone wasn't providing services to struggling children that the administrator's remark after I left the room was "Why wouldn't he pick HER students up?"  Remnants of prior letters to the editor trying to suggest improvements to an entrenched central office staff, but I'm now an instigator, even though I've only voiced opinions that are directly detrimental to students.

Okay, even I hear the whine in my voice.  I'm no saint, no angel, and I'm paranoid.  But I care about "my" kids, as my colleagues do.

But we're feather and tarred.  Now, we're being scrutinized to see if our absences--for back injuries, brain tumors, diabetes, cancer and other health issues that can't be handled in night clinics--"affect" our kids.

I would suggest that what really affects our kids is the perpetual threat of lawsuits from parents who don't even pretend they'd like jobs.  From parents who don't feed kids, don't bring them to school, teach them to accost others, to expect everything to be provided without effort or responsibility.

And I would swear truthfully that my job matters to me.  Kids matter to me.  But as with many teachers, today--the impossibility of the task in today's climate is devouring dedication and the hope that there are solutions ahead rather than just additional problems.

Forgive the whine.  Please.  Tomorrow will be another day.  And God willing, Saturday is only two days away.