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Blogs by Vanessa Buckner
moving 2/13/2007 2:29:49 PM
We are moving! My landlord has finally closed on the sale of his house. We were given 30 days to move, though honestly, I don't think we'll be able to make the move by then. We are packing without having a place to go!
This weekend, we saw apartments in Newburyport, MA, and in Salem, MA and Beverly, MA. I used to think it was amusing that there were a rash of towns with female names in this area (Beverly, Lynn, Shirley ...). Now it seems normal.
In any case, what strikes me as odd is the number of places that people will show you for sale (or rent) that are really sub-par. They speak just about the same way about them as with the "nice" apartments and houses. I suppose if they are responsible for selling them all, they must be prepared to show them all. But it always amazes me. I want to say, how could you advertise this as a one-bedroom?! OR how could you call this sunny? Or roomy?
We did see some viable ones, though we haven't made an offer on one. Or subitted an application, I guess. Dave really liked one of the ones in Beverly. I was surprised, because he loves Salem so much. But Salem would be right next door. In any case, I don't know that we can get in because of the move-in costs. How can we get in anywhere? We weren't prepared for this.
On another note, Mom tried to escape from the rehab place she's in. It's like a nursing home with physical therapy. At 56, I believe she is the youngest resident there. It's a long story. But she decided to tell them that she was leaving. Then we all had a meeting about it (me (on speakerphone from work), Will, Mom, her social worker, head nurse, and physical therapist) and came up with a plan to get her more indivdual attention and to make her feel less like she's in some kind of a jail. She was very active and independent (as far as mobility, and making decisions) before her decline, her trips to the hospital and then admittance to rehab.
I can understand that she felt the need to take action. However, for Will and for me - ah, the timing! He is jut starting a new job, and I ... well, you've probably read about what I'm dealing with. Keeping Dave hopeful and postive and taking action himself instead of despairing takes a lot of my energy. And I need some methods of renewal. Which I am working on now.
My best friend from college wrote to me via AuthorsDen! But I can't figure out how to write back through the site.
Vanessa <--- Newbie. That's how they do it in chat.
Ali, if you read this, I have missed you very much over the years. I was just telling someone the other day how you made risotto for us (you always said risott') and used to tell me that life was too short to drink cheap wine, or in other words, don't skimp on quality. Buy the good stuff, even if you can afford less of it.
I told Dave about your objections to the decision I made way back when, and what you said at the time that we lost our friendship - that you still believe in true love. And he said, "Tell her that you've found it." We had a sweet quiet moment after that. And I do very much believe in it myself now. I did before I met Dave. It just took me a little longer.
In any case, we both should have known that something like that would run its course and that I'd learn my lesson. Of course, you were trying to stop me for the principle of the thing, before I could ever do it. I very much felt that I was doing the right thing at that time, and we did turn it into something different and meaningful, with its own kind of beauty, at least for a while.
But perhaps inevitably, it went more than sour. I guess I had to learn for myself. But I had my own not-so-great examples to follow and no real understanding of what a marriage is truly meant to be. What the foundation is, or what the criteria for a good mariage are. My parents' was fractured from the beginning, I think. In any case, that is over, and we are several years divorced now. We were married and together for five years, separated but legally amrried for one, then in the process of divorcing for another. So all together, 7, but really 5. And what a 5. I am certainly changed for it.
One good thing that came of it is that I am now passably conversant in Spanish. I may not sound fluent to every person from every country, but I can talk to any of them, understand and be understood. In most cases, I can converse easily (and of course write it and read it). I spoke it daily, in the household, for those five years, so ... that's a plus. I use it in my work now.
Well, enough rambling for now. I have to get Dave another of his birthday presents. He thinks I am going to the gym and leaving him to his own devices at home, on his day off. And I did intend to go to the gym, but I realized that this would be a great way to surprise him, so off I go! And I'll come in early tomorrow to use the gym. Good night,all ...
