We are taught that forgiveness is a great virtue.

Forgiving small things is easy. But how can you forgive someone who has abused you or has harmed you?

You do not have to forgive a person for WHAT they have done to you.

You need to forgive a person for WHY they may have done something to you.

We need to forgive ourselves first, before we start forgiving others.

You may have fallen short in your relationships and emotionally abused your spouse, and are now regretting your past behavior.

You treat your friends and family differently now, than you did twenty years ago, and you know WHAT you did then was wrong.

You now understand WHY you had those behaviors. Perhaps, you were insecure, scared, or did not know any better.

You can forgive yourself based on WHY you may have taken those actions. But, WHAT you have done does not need to be forgiven by others.

The same way you forgive yourself can be applied to others.

Why should we even forgive?

If you feel the need to be free, you have to forgive.

When you have not forgiven someone, it is like having them put in a jail, and you are watching and guarding them.

As long as you are guarding them, you are in the same jail cell with them with no real freedom.

Forgiving frees you from guard duty, and sets you free for more important tasks.

Copyright . 2008 by Shervin Hojat
(Tend To your Garden Within)