I think, Jack, Love, in its ultimate form, is on a different spiritual level than the resources we have at our hands allows.

I think we are a sort of 'Riverworld'. I wonder why I think I couldn't have thought better than this war-maiming disaster, as an author of this world, because, somebody did author this. Was it god? I don't think so, anymore, unless God is Chaos? Which is why, I suppose, they say only God sees the 'pattern' of life sacrificed, or supplied, on Earth.

I wonder why my me is here... Why this place, in this time...

I think, Jack, in parallels, without comfort, but, with a lot of shame for all. ... All? I think so, if I could grasp all of me, wouldn't that change history?

Why not?

And, on, and on, and on... I am Escher, personified. Ha, only because my oldest daughter brought home an Escher-dominated poetic assignment. Which I helped her with, ending in 'Escher wins again!'. Apparently, the English teacher thought our thirteenth line 'weak', oh, man, if she could only have been there!

Regardless, Me lives in now. My kids are diversified, one at a fellow 15 yr. old birthday party, the younger, home, in her room. Sometimes, it seems at these moments of intersection of life, I explode, scarily, stupidly, divinely.

And, then I'm back. What the hell do you 'do' with that kind of 'fact'?

Jerry and I watched a movie call 'Paycheck', tonight. It was exquisite in action, conceptions, technology, awareness and imagination! Andrew! I thought of you, and mentioned it to Jerry, all the way through! And, you, Doc, you were there, too! It was so intense, it took over our steak dinner, causing its effects, the steak dinner, to be completed in commercials...

You know, I generalize, myself, but not like you, Jack. You see what should be there, I see what could. Neither of us know what logistics would bring about what we see.. The biggest difference is, you have the abilities, education and instinct to 'prod' others into thinking, and acting, on the faith of ... um, yes, okay, Love, in a teachering form. I have anonymous words.

Erin

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 8/20/06